GoodBye 2009 & Welcome 2010 !!

well, tonite i will not be here anymore, need go club with bunch of my frens
but still thinking that should i go for it? bcuz~ after tis i will really pk kao kao~
later no money use again den die lor some more next month is exam month~
sure need a lot of extra spending for photostat la tis la tat la~ haix!
past few days passing with a boring life, watch movie, eat and sleep only everyday~
wish everyone here happy new year and wash away all the bad things in 2009!

"welcome to the 2010"

*christmas crazie*

picture taken after finish countdown at Sunway and tea-ing at mamak nearby
all my fellow frens there~ miss them a lot ^^ having fun with them

Merry Christmas

well, hereby come with my wish to everyone hope they all enjoyed their christmas eve last nite.. at first i should be alone at wangsa watching movie and doing nothing jor geh~ but finally got ppl ask me out, surely im going la! if not staying at home fat mou meh? den end up decide go sunway~
we went there dinner at there and then we looking for snow spray but we cant get it~ finally after around 30 mionutes we found tat some one is selling so only we bought and end up i become snow man, lols, so pity keep kena spray~ den whole body very geli like tat~ haha but no pic la bcuz, no one bring camera along so its a bit sad lor bcuz cant catch down the pic

den about tonite.. well at first also i tot have to be alone at home jor la..
but luckily after buffet dinner at my relative de wedding there im able to rush back to balakong and out with huey yee and edmond, we went the saga hill and also the look out point~
well, we took some pic too and it will be uploaded later~ pitty Zellent is not here if not we sure can have more fun with him.. wish him all the best and can get graduated as early as he can~ now back home also bit tired jor la wat to do cannot sleep yet so online forum while lor~ nitez everyone~ sorry for disappearin such a long time~ im busying lately, busying to go out xD

时间过得很快

转眼间一年又再次的过去了～
很伤心在这年里面我感觉身上好像一无所处～
很快的就会到了圣诞节，之后就new year倒数了～
今年里面的圣诞+倒数应该给都是会寂寞的度过吧
不过也算了吧，反正每年都往外跑，闷了～
只想好好呆在家，跟一些我想跟他们一起的人度过～
也算是不错吧？转眼间这个学期再次来临了第12星期～
多两个星期读书之后我就是要面临大考了～伤心啊～
到目前为止我还是什么都还不会做不知道～这个学期啊
可以说是死定了～唉～伤心，有人会愿意为我风光大葬嘛？

来临的一个星期里面我家里的人都不会在家～
剩下我一个人呆在wangsa罢了～爸爸妈妈弟弟妹妹全部回去婆婆家
圣诞节他们又去外婆家那边度过～孤独的我啊～唉～
回家乡跟妈妈要点钱给自己去跑跑shopping解闷下～
可是我要买的东西实在，很多下～不知道要200块够不够～
拿多了等下会被碎碎念～可是我只想要一双converse，一两件jeans跟衣服罢了

九百九十九朵玫瑰

往事如風 癡心只是難懂
借酒相送 送不走身影濛濛
燭光投影 映不出你顏容
仍只見你獨自照片中

* 夜風已冷 回想前塵如夢
心似冰凍 怎堪相識不相逢
難捨心痛 難捨情已如風
難捨你在我心中的放鬆

# 我早已為你種下 九百九十九朵玫瑰
從分手的那一天 九百九十九朵玫瑰
花到凋謝人已憔 千盟萬誓已隨花時湮滅
Repeat * # #

无言的结局

(女)曾经是对你说过
这是个无言的结局
随着那岁月淡淡而去
我曾经说过
如果有一天
我将会离开你
脸上不会有泪滴

(男)但我要如何
如何能停止再次想你
我怎么能够
怎么能够埋葬一切回忆
无言的结局 lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Chinese-French/27914-~Lam-Thuc-Dung-La-Thoi-Phong.html
啊让我再看看你
让我再说爱你
别将你背影离去

(女)分手时候说分手
请不要说难忘记
就让那回忆淡淡的随风去

(男)也许我会忘记
也许会更想你
也许已没有也许

舅舅的婚礼

那天拜六就跑回去外婆家那边了～
因为舅舅要结婚了～哎哟终于告别王老五了啦～
恭喜恭喜先～呵呵～不过回去很累，很闷～
之后礼拜天就喝喜酒了咯～这只是有几张我存在的照片啦～

好可怜啊最近～差不多每天都在忙碌着～
虽然不是很多东西要做～可是都够我死的了～
上课都不知道老师再说什么～assignment全部都是靠自己上网找
结果找到我都不知道可以用没有～就丢下去了～
希望这次的分数不会很差咯～今天早上～唉～一起身就下大雨了
结果就继续倒头大睡了～不是我不想去上课是因为真的很大雨下
刚刚才完成了我的partial assignment～明天要交给老师的了～
真的很累，今天在外面一整天了～就来要干了～很辛苦的再撑下去
终于给我等到我完成我的assignment的时候了～还有点手尾要跟～
多一下完成了就可以睡觉了～好开心～晚安咯大家～

assignment nite

haiz another sad case to go, 2moro have to pass up the management assignment
i had just finish rushed my PP assignment and just passed up today~ den start rush again
i hate assignment actually bcuz i din really listen in lecture and i dunno wat i need to do
tonite will be another nite tat i can get sleep adi lor.. sad la feel so tired some more~
luckily my PP assignment din kena reject or else i need to do double job~ feel so bad~
my english assignment let kai ching do alone~i nvr help at all la haiz~ so i think
tonite i will be doing the management lor.. at least help him something~ feel so hungry now
no one gonna eat with me so i think wont eat la, mayb later nite a bit only go yam cha~
feel so worried for tis sem, i really din pay any attention to the lecture also some more
i always skip lecture class at early morning how?? later get failed again den i die lor..

睡不着的夜晚

很难得，又来一天睡不着了～
在论坛流荡流荡～不知不觉都已经六点半了
多一下就要准备去上课了咯～所以还是不要睡觉比较好
睡觉下去肯定没有12点都不会起来了～等下没上到课～
刚才330am左右朋友才叫我喝茶～回来都530am了～
而且有点精神了，不想睡～明天放学回来了才睡个饱咯
这个晚上也是想了很多东西～唉，香烟也消耗了不少～
现在已经是week8了，需要开始忙我的全部assignment了
在不然的话就会被鸟了～而且，分数来的咧～必须要做到最好
才不会让我自己再次的后悔～等下考试spm的考生们，都加油吧

考试周

what a pity week i got from now.. just back from balakong last nite
i so suddenly realise that my phone cannot be use when im awake on almost afternoon just now..
haiz bad luck i got some more, 2moro, means tuesday i will have both my building act and principle management's midterm
i havent touch anything yet so tonite i think i wont able to sleep and have to study
2moro again another pair of panda eye ring will appear in front of u all~

well, my life is just to study? or enjoy? or just suffering from lossing something?
i dunno.. some frens, had been so successful in their life, well but me? looking at myself, im actually shameful of myself.. i know NOTHING at all beside than spending money eating playing lazying watching movie and sleeping.. every time my dad sound me, but, for me i feel its nothing wrong bcuz every of the college student also is almost like me.. well, but then think further~
this kind of life wont let me have more longer life, it will only shortern my life~

some ppl working during studying, they can be successful
some ppl working without studying, also can be successful~
some ppl studying but without working, also successful~
well, me? looking at myself in the mirror, asking myself a question
WHAT THE HELL ACTUALLY YOU WANT FROM YOUR LIFE??

今天在弄practical的时候被concrete割伤了手指～
到现在都还在痛都不知道会不会中毒啊～死咯～
唉，刚才一起床的时候艳阳高照，哪里知道冲凉出来之后就下雨了
还得淋雨去学校啊～真的是可怜～唉～到了学校要做practical热到死～
好在，好不容易熬到了晚上，原本以为上到了6pm的课就可以回家了～
哪里知道突然间下很大雨了～哎哟，怎么回家啊？肯定湿湿了啊～
就只好延迟一天了咯～伤心，今晚不能回家～想家啊～上个礼拜～都没回去
下个礼拜有很多test了，还有presentation～都还没准备好～在害怕当中
刚才跟小琪聊天～原来，女生也有那个想法～就，算了吧～
我知道我的太过于执着是不好的了～我会学着慢慢去改变～
谢谢大家最近的关心不过，过去了就让它过去吧～不要再发泄什么东西了
心情已经恢复平静了～只是不知道明天回到家怎样跟妈妈交代我的伤口

一个心痛的决定

很对不起，这两天我真的想很清楚了
无时无刻都在想着～关于你的一切一切
我们之间的甜蜜时光，我们之间的开心事情

我第一次去金宝找你，我连考试都不管了
立刻订火车票去找你，就因为你说一句话你想见我
到了那边，你那害羞的模样，脸红红的样子
到现在还在深深的烙在我脑海

之后马来人过年，我会我婆婆家里，我去载你出来
跟你妹妹跟男朋友一起～我们有说有笑。。很开心
我还去了你婆婆家吃饭，那时候无可否认我真的很开心

知道，你跟我说你要去tesco，吃kfc～好，我跟你去
结果我就看到他了，是，我很不爽，可是我没说出来
我不要你难做。。我等你做一个你认为最好的决定
你说，他已经跟你说 “不如我们就此算了”
可是，这封信息真的有存在过吗？我不知道～不敢知道，我没资格

也就算了，我相信你，跟他是没有事情的～可是～都没有多少天
最多一个礼拜。。我带你来kl～来我家。。那时候，在巴士上～
我已经很不爽了，可是我还是对你很好，我继续对你很好
希望有一天我的好，可以让你回心转意～可是，我却看到了，你们老公老婆称呼
你要我怎样？我老婆给人家叫老婆，你去问人家，还有谁人可以由我这个容忍量？
我敢说一句话，没有一个！包括你自己的爸爸～不过到最后，统统算了
我跟你一起开心就好，何必管那么多？

到我们去金马伦的时候了～我们玩的很开心，一起拍照
一起跌到，一起打边炉，一起吃草莓，一起说一起笑～
我真的很开心，因为有你在我身边～那时候我觉得，任何事情都不再重要
可是，之后呢？你说，你要跟锦华去云顶玩，很多人一起去的，几对情侣的
好咯，我相信你～可是，到最后？我还是拆穿了你～那时候，都还不要紧
因为很多人一起去的，我比较没有那么担心你，可是～到最后，你竟然跟我说气话
我真的很伤心，你答应过我，不会给人家抱着你，不会给人家牵着你的手～可是？
那也都不要紧，到最后我都不在乎了～

直到，你有问题了，我跟你说了一个最好的解决方法，你不接受不要紧
你不听我的话还不要紧，你竟然跟他借钱，节前不是不可以，也要找对人啊？！
一个男子不会无端端借给你一笔钱的～那也都算了，我统统不在乎～
可是直到那天，我上了他的部落格～你说的很多人一起去的云顶～竟然只有你们两个
想不到，到最后一分钟你都还要欺骗我～我不知道该说什么好，可是，你跟我说分手
我还是有挽留你，我不希望我自己的冲动让我后悔～可是，这两天，我一个人
对着天空，没有睡觉，每天在想，在考虑～我已经beh tahan了。。不是我不会珍惜
或许可以说是我无福消受吧～我接受不来一段恋情里面有两个男生一个女生

你明知道很多事情我不喜欢的你却偏偏还要去做给我看做出来～
你有没有想过，你骗我～可以骗我一辈子固然是很好，可是，如果有一天我知道了呢？
你会怎样？不用你回答，我已经知道了，你还是汇集骗我～对，你或许由你自己的苦衷～、我不想逼你说些什么，就当作一切都是我的错吧

是我的不体谅，是我的不支持，是我的不好对你造成了伤害
难道你要我继续体谅你跟他一起？
难道你要继续支持你继续跟他一起？
对不起，我真的做不到～我真的很心痛～
我不知道该怎么办，一连串的打击，我受不了了
我的付出付诸流水，不要紧
我对你的爱与关心，不受珍惜都不要紧
可是最起码～给我点安全感～连着一点点要求，我都得不到～
还是，算了吧～我们，或许还可以是很好的朋友～说真的一句
我的确是很了解你，很多问题方面我都可以给到你帮助

最后决定，是我自己一个人的决定，与任何人无关
不爽的人可以来找我算账！不要在我背后放暗箭，不要说什么没有春袋
有本事的话，来找我！有春袋的话，来找我！！不要说话大大声罢了
我不会怕你的。。受伤的手，再次的受伤了～流血了，可是～痛？
对我来说已经不再是什么新鲜事情了。我已经变态到我根本不会痛了

我的世界，从刚开始的充满了彩色，重新的，跌进谷底～再次的恢复了黑暗

生日快乐

对不起老爸，这个拜五是你的生日我都不能回家陪伴你
对不起老爸，在你的生日我竟然给了你一份“大礼”， 就是我的成绩表
对不起。。我知道我是做错了。。我应该无论如何都跑回家一趟的
迟来的祝福，老爸你应该不介意吧？生日快乐～
做儿子的，我真的觉得自己很不上进～每次要你担心，每次要你唠叨
我到底，几时才可以学会懂事？我到底，几时才可以让你不再担心我？
下个礼拜，我回家，会补偿。。我想请你吃饭，可是我的经济不允许
我想买一份好的礼物给你，我的经济也不允许～因为我真的很大花～
对不起～

是时候了，应该要整理一下自己，继续冲刺了～再不开始就来不及了
我不想再继续不及格下去～我想要发奋图强～谁人可以给我信心？ T.T

伤vs痛

到底是伤比较痛？
还是痛，比较痛？
还是眼泪流下来了那个才叫痛？
我不知道了～我不会了～
我的眼泪很久都没有流下来了
干了吗？还是我真的已经铁石心肠到没有眼泪了？

甚至，昨晚我做了一些我自己也很不可思议的事情
可惜的是我想要的眼泪，却没有出来，换回来我的一趟血
心疼吗？伤心吗？压力吗？不开心？还是博同情？
我不知道～很多人说我是sohai！可是～别人怎么说我不管
我只想跟着我的感觉去做～可是，夜深的时候～我会乱想
想很多有的没的，想很多好的坏的～或许，我的思绪要在深夜才可以清醒吧？
人家说，为什么我那么爱她？我回答不到，我不知道我的答案是什么
人家说，最不开心的事情都发生了，为什么还不要选择？我不知道～因为我不想选择
没有一个人看好我跟他，偏偏我要逆天而行！我不信！
可是，逆天而行的同时，我自己也受到了伤害～

对！我们的确有过很多开心的回忆，很多开心的时光～可是
不开心的呢？也是一样那么多～我的朋友都说我没有了笑容
是真的吗？我不知道～因为一直以来我都是苦瓜脸～我看不到我的真面目很久了
最近，论坛少泡了，msn少上了～部落格，也少来了～最近真的看到很多～
所以我今晚上睡不着也来写一下～不过不要担心，过了明天，一切将会没问题
一切，都会雨过天晴，明天，他打来给我，好呀～来吧～谁怕谁？
不要当我在kl没有backup～我是不怕人家送上门来找我晦气的！

今晚上，我的思绪很混乱，我的情绪很不稳定，受伤了的手一直在隐隐作痛
明天给人家看到又要给人家说我sohai了咯？第一次，连大悲咒都平复不到我的心情
这所有的一切，都是我应该承受的吗？是我的报应？我的惩罚？还是什么？
或许，我应该开始相信因果报应～谁人叫我自己，想当初，伤害了很多人～报应来了
我的伤，伤口都已经痛到，好像没感觉了～下一次尝试用玻璃或许会比较好吧？
选择了就不要轻易说放弃，可是～我已经真的很努力在腻补了～腻补我自己的罪过
吃斋，听大悲咒，真的能清洗我的罪孽吗？还是我真的得出家当和尚六大皆空？
冷风阵阵的深夜，就只有部落格、大悲咒、香烟的陪伴。。这是我的下场？

开心的星期五

今天我的宝贝要从那个他那边来找我了～
好开心下，因为很久没看到他了～对不起
因为这个月里面我都已经没有本事跑过去找你了～
希望我下个月可以去找你咯～我很想在7个星期之后一直陪伴着你
可是，我做不到～我真的很不开心，真的很想哭～
因为我在这边还是有读书的啊～虽然我很想过去～
可是我会进我的能力拜六礼拜过去陪你的～
不知不觉我们都有整一个月没见面了咯～这段期间真的很想你
刚才一起身就看到天气阴阴凉凉的～不知道为什么～
心里面有点不好的感觉，我不喜欢阴阴的～给我觉得很不开心

加上我都有好一段时间没上来写blog了，都是老婆在帮我update
可是突然间杀出一个路人甲来说我，扎到一下咯～我的blog我写什么我喜欢啊
管他什么事情呢？做得出就不怕认咯，明明就是办事能力有问题
这个礼拜我没有回去我自己的家了～要在这边陪老婆～
最近我自己总是头头碰着黑～裤子两件都有洞了～其中一件还要是新买的
我真的不知道最近我走什么狗屎运，裤子都会破～不过大致上还ok的
assignment开始要忙了～下个礼拜要好好开始读书了～加油吧

its utar again

well im gonna to upload a picture for u all to see it~
yea well, im scolding for utar management 2 years ago~
but then until today, im still kena shoot by all the bad words, foul language by the utar management staff~ well i dunno izzit true he/she is utar's staff~
but then if true, i think, utar management is already facing problem la..
all these kind of bad attitude staff still can be working inside a campus? i dun think its still a good campus anymore man, the pic is the evidence..
kononnya UTAR MANAGEMENT STAFF!!
i believe that everyone working inside utar also well educated but then just beside of this ppl, he/she broke all the images for all the utar staff.. its shamefull

totally hopeless nite i got

from now onward
wat i see i will never ask
wat i listen i will never tell
wat i feel i will never say it out
bcuz i know everything i can saw is a REAL thing
just that every time i keep giving myself excuses to avoid myself from being hurt
but end up im still the one who was hurt! im really sad,looking at the wallpaper
my tears drop down drop by drop, silently, soundlessly
no one can see my sad face now, no one understand my feeling now
everyone is sleeping while no one can share my feel with me now
everything i will just kept for myself and work out silently.. 默默耕耘，默默付出

repay? i not even dare to think once about it now! just hope my heart wont break anymore
回报？我根本都不敢想象了！一点都不敢期待了～但愿我不会再次心碎

u can able to play happily, travel happily, but me? as u said i ask u dun go den u wont go but end up u are still going, although im very sad and beh song but wat to do? u gimme all those excuses already enuff to let me see your real face! i know u very hope to go but then why cant u just tell me? i will bring u to go mayb in another months.. why everything i ask u u just keep silent, just tell me nothing nothing, den end up u get mad at me, saying taht i dunno about u at all! not i dun understand about u, is u never gimem such a good chance to understand you

and now finally i realize that how much i told u, i talk to u before all also is useless, all is just SHIT that no one will care for it, bcuz u will never listen to me even once, so,

no points i keep explaining to you,
no points i keep asking u to be careful,
no points i keep asking u to take care of yourself,
no points i keep worryng for u whole days and nites..

while actually u are having fun while im suffering, u are playing until so happy WITH HIM while my heart was thinking rubbish..
after all, i really speechless, nothing to say anymore, bcuz my throat really get dried and i really got no sound, no strength and no energy wanna to continue tell u all those things i faced before~
now wat i can hope is just can take good care of yourself and no regret in future for wat ever decision u makin now, while life past, means past! no turning back point, no U-turn in this highway

我们曾经甜蜜过
我们曾经吵架过
我们曾经冷战过
可是，什么都跨过去了
偏偏就是还有着一个障碍～
我不知道我做的方法是否正确
可是我不得不那么做～因为我不甘心
我不喜欢分享，我也做不到假假不知道

nothing's gonna change my love for u

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

(Repeat Chorus 1)

(Repeat Chorus 2)

(Repeat Chorus 3)

(Repeat Chorus 2) (2X)

(Repeat Chorus 3)

(Repeat Chorus 2)

怀念你

怀念你在我身边的日子
怀念我们一起去玩的日子
怀念老婆，一直都很想念～
怀念我们一起的快乐的日子
怀念你在我身边哭包被我骂的无辜样子
怀念你当我不开心的时候你安慰我的样子


过了那天金马伦之游之后，我真的很伤心～
在我上车要离开你的家你那时候，我的心在流泪
可是我没说出来，我的样子还是嘻嘻哈哈，没什么事情
是因为我不要你看到我不开心的样子，不舍得的样子
因为我很怕你会看到之后更加不开心～我在车上那么久
想着你那么久，回到家吃饭冲凉睡觉的时候你都还是在我的脑海里面
你那可爱的样子，我们一起的糗事，你在自拍的时候的样子
我在抱着你拍照的时候的那个幸福感觉～不知道，你是否也觉得幸福呢？

不知道干嘛我觉得我自己很没有安全感
可是我的危机感却一大堆～什么不好的统统都会出现在我的脑海里
可是，我很想要往正面想，可是或许太久了我的思想都是负面的吧
一时之间很难逆转回来正面的思想～希望加以时日我可以变成正面
我的思想不管在成绩方面是负面，老婆方面也还是负面～难道。。
我就不可以成为一个真正开开心心的人正面的人吗？
我，没有真正开心的笑过一次～当我一个人的时候，我总是拉长着脸
总是板起脸孔一副生人勿近的感觉！可是，这样子只是会吓到人家～

曾经，我在电话里面的信息，写着了“我的爱是这下自己的翅膀送给你飞翔”
不经意的给你看到了，原本是不想要给你知道的呢～因为～我解释给你听啊
我宁愿我自己是一个残废的天使，我都要把我的翅膀给你，让你飞更高更远
而我呢？只是需要在一边静静的看着你，看着你睡着，看着你开心，就足够了
曾经，我跟你是两个完全没有关系的两个人，可是缘分让我跟你认识了～
缘分让我们现在走在一起了，我很珍惜这段缘分。。我很想我们可以天长地久啊
可是，世界上真的有天长地久这一回事吗？不管有还是没有，我都很想要！
你曾经是我的老婆，也曾经是我的傻婆而已～很峰回路转吧？这些都不重要了
不知道，你会否觉得我也是很珍惜你呢？我只想要一个答案，可是，我说不出口

说真的，在你变成了我的傻婆的那一刻，我真的有想过要放弃的～
毕竟那时候你选择的是他而不是我～我很伤心，可是我没有表示出来
我只能够祝福你跟他～可是，这个祝福不是出自我内心自愿的～我在这里说的“他”
可以是“他-k”， 也可以是你的ex。。我真的很担心那里一天我会去杀人放火～
可是人家却说，放心吧～对你们有信心～经得起风浪的才是真正的爱情～
如果给我选择的话，我宁愿平平淡淡度过，不是我怕死、不是经不起风浪～
是我的心，早就已经很脆弱了，经不起任何刺激了～很辛苦，才可以把它粘回去
到最后你选择回了我，可是在那一天而已～我就已经把我一年的伤心全部用完了
或许当时我是不甘心吧？不甘心我爱你，却不能再继续爱你！
也或许我当时只是在给我自己一个借口，在欺骗我自己，想要用时间来冲淡一切我对你的爱，来冲淡一切我对你的思念。。我很自私哦？可是，在爱情的世界里面，永远都只有自私罢了！

有时候，我霸道，我却害怕你会对我的霸道觉得反感～
有时候，我不霸道，我却还害怕你会觉得我不在乎你～
我的心里面总是想着很多很多问题，很多很多问号～得不到答案
希望在将来我心里面的问号还有问题，都可以一一的找到答案吧～

好咯～终于“来也”了咯！说好了自己的语气不好！要改变
可是却没有改变，现在？终于搞出个乱子来了！怎么办？
唉～我都没有那个意思，我都没有说我不要帮你做的那个意思
我接电话时候语气的确是不好，因为我在弄东西啊～如果～
多五分钟之后你打电话来就没问题了啊～你看～是不是我自己拿来衰的？
我没有说什么特地时常要吵架～T.T！很多人都告诉我～
有不开心，有不满意，有不喜欢，就要说出来，大家一起解决～
不说出来全部自己扛的话会很容易闹出问题来～可是～
说好了，是不开心、不满意、不喜欢。。语气方面当然会比较重啊～
老婆。。你慢慢会了解到我的语气其实不是在生气，不是在吵架的
是因为我在乎，我才会紧张，我才会不开心～如果我不在乎的东西？
我才不会那么的空话时间去生气，花时间去紧张跟不开心～
我不知道该说什么才好～我很想说，老婆你不要每次不开心就放下我一个人
老婆不要什么东西都好像不想给我知道那样子～我会想很多很多的你懂吗？
有什么事情，打开来说出来就没问题了啊～不是么？
到最后，我只是想说，对不起～原来一直以来都给你觉得我很会骂你
我一直都在找架吵的感觉～对不起～T.T 我知道我自己的语气是很不好
我知道你在想什么～可是我不想在这里说出来～等下，我冲凉好了～你打给我
我才慢慢的告诉你把～等我，知道吗～

奇怪的一天

今早上我睡觉到很迟一下才起床～
直到我宝贝打电话来了我才甘愿起身～
可是之后就要开始忙碌寻找training的公司了～
然后晚上却要跟edmond去看看表演，因为早早答应了
不大好意思临时放人家飞机咯～所以只好硬着头皮去了
在下车之前还要给爸爸说了好一顿厉害的～唉～
觉得自己也是不对的，回来了那么多天，那么多天都出去
没时间呆在家里陪伴家人～可是，我也不想的～
明天开始我会呆在家里的了～而且，今天我老婆好像怪怪的
总觉得他是有心事～不然的话就是我最近都没什么陪伴到他～
对不起，最近每天都睡觉到中午，之后就忙着找公司～
之后晚上还要出门去～没什么陪伴你～对不起～或许是这个原因吧？
老婆今晚上都好像很不开心～跟我聊天的时候也是怪怪的～
希望是我自己想多了，希望其实事实上不是这样子的～
我的要求很简单，你开心，我就开心了～好不好？？有问题的话告诉我
知道吗？我不要你把东西都放在心里面

～等待～

如果你很愛很愛某樣東西 就讓他自由吧!

如果他不回來, 那表示他並不屬於你...

如果他回來了, 要永遠愛他...

我在等待着一些，我自己都不确定该不该等待的～
不管了啦～反正都决定了，就等下去吧～
终于，可以作得出这个决定了。。是有伤心的感觉
可是也有松一口气的感觉～因为终于找到一个最好的解决方法了
但愿这个不是一个最坏的方法吧～我会祝福你的
在火车上，自己一个人，要小心～知道吗？
有问题的时候，当你想要找我的时候，想起我，知道吗？
我可以是一个很好的聆听着

我还在寻找 一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷 替我烦恼 为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了

小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛 迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好 一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了

小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛 迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

我不知道，我的所作所为是否正确
我不知道我是不是应该那么大醋缸
可是我只是知道我很不开心～搞到大家都很不开心
我身为一个局外人，我是不是应该退出呢？
我在火车上，想了好久好久。。冷到发抖
可是，发抖还是小事情。。我无所谓～
可是到一半的时候宝贝突然没有回复信息了
我在想，在担心。。可是我不能做什么～
我怕打电话过去会被骂～我不想宝贝生气骂人
直到我回到我家附近的火车站了，终于～
宝贝打电话来了，没问题了～可是～我还是伤心
我做了很多不该做的事情，说了很多不该说的话
如果，这些一切一切统统都只放在我心里面那该多好
回到家的时候，原本开开心心吃饭了，好久没吃妈妈的饭
可是突然间收到一封信息，我自己的心情又沉了下来，立刻的
我不知道我所有的动作是否正确，我不知道我的不开心是否对的
原来，我的紧张，我的吃醋，我的关心，会给宝贝带来压力
现在，还能说什么呢？没话说了。。我要说的，歌词都写完了
我们的回忆呢？对不起，一整个晚上都在跟你争论，对，是我笨
可是不是我不要讲道理，我只是想让你知道，不管什么事情
我都会一样那么的在乎，都会那么关心～或许是过火了吧？
看来我用错了方法，让你难受了，对不起是我唯一可以说的

金宝中

现在的我仍在金宝
在陪伴我的宝贝~
直道考试完了才走人~
在这里的时光似乎过去的特别的快
转眼间几天没有了~
转眼间，甜蜜开心的时间都已经过去了
昨晚，终于看到了阿潘的真面目！！！
哇！！！不错下嘛~昨晚三个人在西湖吹水~
看到很多那些死"人头猪脑“在那边玩鞭炮
争得弄到我很火滚！！决定了要打电话去报警！
可是，当警察来到的时候呢~终于都他们全部走人了
真不了解那些人，敢做不敢认~
放了鞭炮结果好像老鼠看到猫那样子逃走！
下一个帖子会放一个照片上来~是我老婆送给我的礼物~
这几天吃饭都是一起吃，感觉上很好~可是。。。
也少不了有烦恼的时候~多两天她就要回去hometown了
我也是时候该离开了~打扰了姐姐他们那么久~有点不好意思
悲欢离合，我竟然那么的放不开~就是所谓的，送君千里终须一别
可是这一别之后还不知道何年何月何时何分才能在看到~不舍得
不舍得，还是没办法~还是我得离开~能离开得那么潇洒吗？

伤感

自从刚才看过了啊潘的部落格之后
我发现到，原来曾经受伤害的不只是我一个
不过他的情况比我还要糟糕～很想去看看他
可是却去不了金宝～有点担心他的情况～
但愿它可以在我们众多朋友的关怀之中站起来
他说的一些话，很有道理～那些所谓的原因！
根本就是狗屁不通而且没有道理的原因！
我自己也很痛恨那些给我狗屁原因的人～
我看他的部落格看到有点触景伤情～仿佛回到了以前
啊潘说的话都很有意思～它是一个不错的人吧～
改次要多多认识他才可以了～真的很想拜托他一件事情

假期了！！yeah！！

好不容易～我才熬到了这个时候～
终于，我假期开始了！！不过也只是区区的两个礼拜～
只是怕时间不够用罢了～因为还要去找公司那些～
之后要回去婆婆家～之后要去金马伦玩下～
好难得我可以睡觉但是没有睡觉～现在就真的是要睡觉了
等我把衣服都晒了先～嗯，好累～好想念你～
晚安啊～

比较～之前与之后

如题啦～唉刚才皮痒痒跟kok wah还有virus跑去剪头发～而且还要说我要短短的头发～到最后结果我的头发就真的是几短一下，短到好像小学生～哈哈，年轻了十年咯～好想念我的宝贝～爱你勒，不知怎么的～今天天气很冷～突然间好想你可以在旁边陪伴我～

现在的我不是真的很像小孩子么？有点后悔了～干嘛有事没事跑去剪头发？现在很想念我的三千烦恼丝～当我建好了头发的那一瞬间，感觉上我的头的重量少了很多！！哇靠，还真夸张咧！简直是一个森林里面少了几百万吨的树木～

刚才早上不知道做么很high咯，或许是因为最后一天考试的关系吧～不用怎么喝咖啡那些都可以熬夜到天亮～结果去到学校就疯疯癫癫的，每个人都说我有问题了～不过还好啦，我哪里会那么容易有问题的～今天的考试应该还不错的～

因为有我的宝贝为我祈祷了～但愿我给她的运气也足够让她自己今天的考试拿到很好的成绩可以如愿以偿吧～加油加油～

这边就是现在的我

而这个呢，是早上出门之前的我

我的烧豆腐～

刚刚去找他们读书了一下子～
顺便打包我的烧豆腐回来吃～
因为宝贝说我很瘦哦～呵呵～
叫我吃肥点，我就吃豆腐咯～
结果就决定了买烧豆腐～因为哦～
那天看他们吃好像很好吃的样子～
可是照片拍出来了好像不好看那样
不管啦，先放上来再说～呵呵

structural studies

对了！！明天早上9am我就是考试这个科目
名字叫做structural studies。。可是到现在～
我才能够把握了100分里面的25分而已～该怎么办啊？唉
希望等下去找那个死人头virus教导我的时候不会上车～
不然的话明天我杀死他咯！我已经不想再过着重考的日子了
恨不得这个学期里面可以解决掉我所有的科目～
刚才冲凉的时候发现了我的手指原来是会痛的咯～还以为没感觉了
明天还要死命写字的咧～怎么办？看来明天要跟人家要胶布了
我决定了要放弃某个东西了～那个东西～得在我的生活中永远消失
好想要听那些大大声可以震耳欲聋的声音～的音乐！好久没听过了
那种音乐可以给我的耳朵聋聋底，什么都听不到～朦朦胧胧的日子更好
最怕就是我的期望越高失望越大～现在的我，什么都不敢多想了～
一切安安乐乐，开开心心，日子过一天算一天就好～

考试完毕之后，要跟我的宝贝去金马伦玩一下了～呵呵～
可是考试完了之后回家要跟妈妈tok水先～没钱了怎么出去玩啊～唉～
很希望考试完毕的那一天可以赶快到来～那时候，我真的可以松一口气了～
很想再次可以见到你呢～考试啊考试，快点完毕～！！！宝贝，爱你～

Retribution

ya, i did something wrong before this
so, is it this kind of Retribution should i have?
i dunno.. how should i gonna do..
i dont really wanna to do something tat really crazy and pissing ppl off
should i really involve inside that?

还是一个睡不着觉的晚上～
一个人在阳台看着外面远方的夜景～
无限的唏嘘～看着天空，让我想起了很多事情～
当然，有好的，有坏的，有正常的，也有疯狂的～
可是偏偏就是没有一个是开心的～
夜晚真的给我带来了那么多的不开心吗？
我还以为只有雨天可以让我愁眉不展～
知道最近～我才发现到，原来开心是要自己去寻找的
开心原来就在我的周围。。迷失了方向
找不到我要的，我要的却不是人家想给我的～
该怎么办？拜二考试了～到现在，都还没动过什么东西～
放弃了吗？也不算是放弃啊！我不想不及格了～

（转贴）女孩应该原谅男孩的10个地方

1 如果你喜欢他就告诉他，即使他拒绝了，也不会丢面子，因为在他心里，会因为你的真情而非常非常感激你。

2 如果他喜欢你，要明确告诉他你对他的感情，喜欢就是喜欢，不喜欢就是不喜欢，千万不要怕伤害他而忧郁不决，不要让他等到最后才受到抛弃，因为男孩子的心一旦碎了就很难很难再好起来。

3 男孩子也有自己的脾气，只是因为爱你而压抑着，不要总是任性，有时他们的决定也很有道理.

4 男孩子莫名的向你发脾气，那时因为爱你，把你当成最亲，最贴心，最有安全感的人，千万不要冲他发脾气反击，静静的等着，等他消气后满怀后悔来抱你。

5 他为你准备的东西，即使再难看，再廉价，也要去珍惜，因为那里面融汇着他整晚的思绪。

6 相信他给你多么多么美好的生活，要给他鼓励，因为鼓励会让他创造奇迹。

7 不要总是打探他去哪，告诉他注意安全，你会等着他就可以。

8 不要总说~我爱你~，他会半真半笑着说你烦，但不要不说，因为有时候，他们比女孩子更需要这句。

9 他为你掉眼泪了，那么他是真的非常爱你，珍惜他的每一滴泪，不要道歉，不要安慰，握着他的手，默默的为他擦去泪滴。

10 要信任他，他爱你，就什么都不会骗你，即使真的有欺骗，也是为让你们的爱情能够永远不离不弃。

give up

did anyone got any idea about tat?
should i giving up something in my life?
or should i just continue and act like nothing happen?
im missing those happy days~why?
why something had been a past tense den will never came back again?

ya,now im just at wangsa, my own home~ feel so tired~
since last saturday till now i think i din even get more than 10 hours sleep~
im really gonna be a FREAK if continuous like tis~
luckily, my next coming paper fall on next tuesday~
so i can really get a good rest during today and 2moro~
den have to start study fucking hard again soon~

i HATE calculation!! STill very hate!! bcuz i may missing some marks~
and den the next coming exam will be all pure calculations and im gonna die~
so how? who else can help me? teach me something please~ and thx if anyone~

suddenly feel so down right now~ haiz dunno wat the hell im thinking about
dunno wat i want also... me myself also not even can understand myself
so how im gonna ask for other ppl to understand me? izzit im really so unpredictable?
am I that changeable? 可是我还是一样啊，初一十五都一样，一样是我
或许我已经把自己封闭了起来吧～就好像有种生人勿近的感觉～是这样么？
真的有那么的难接近我吗？有那么难来了解下下我需要什么，想要什么吗？？

countdown nite?

today will be the first countdown nite that i have to celebrate it alone~
in past few years since im form5, every year countdown also i wont be alone~
but this year seems like excepted lor~ alone sitting at home, alone facing computer~
doing nothing thinking something bad make me no mood gonna do revision~
my parents both not at home while no frens seems free to out with me also~
sad and dark nite for me

my old days? where izzit?

recently quite free during midnite bcuz no mood wanna to study much so just stop after stuydy about one hour~ until now also i havent finish anyone of the subject yet, so? pray hard la my fren.

tis few days, log in to my both old and new friendster account, see back all those photo i had posted up previously during my old days.. im really fucking deeply miss those days, with all my fellow frens, either utarians or my NS frens~ we all having a great time during the one year period after we finish NS! tat time our Mr Zellent havent go overseas yet, all of us still relax, sitting there drinking tea quite often, gathering together quite often~ but now? i did really miss him much~

secondly, all my previous UTAR's fren and classmate or skulmate~ long time never see u all.. except lah for my housemate~ i see them everyday.. i miss the nite we having BBQ in the PJ dunno wat wat park~ some more wine is supplied~ but they all kaki say not enuff~ den decide to bought some more extra HEINEKEN.. every bottle for everyone.. its fun, we having great time on tat nite~ all drunken, happy until dunno how to say~ but now? everyone of us just busy busy and busy with their owk skul's works.. degree are mayb really bit more tension than I'm now..

i feel that me myself, have really getting a very big changes from I'm 18 until now I'm 20~ a good boy become a bad guy, a hardworking and willing to learn's boy become a lazy guy now~ what had caused me have tat kind of changes? no one gonna knew it~ i will make it as a secret for myself.. at least i have one secret, for only myself.. see back my foundation times in Utar when year of 2007.. i have wasted my own time for one year, wasted my parents hard earn money as much as 10k.. but i din get back anything except than sad and disappointed for my parents~ i really feel sad and sorry about tat and i promised now no matter how hard, im gonna get graduated on time, and getting a degree in future! i wont let myself to become useless wood anymore fro now onwards!! i wanna be a useful human, have some contribution for my own family~ my parents both are getting older~ so, the burden of taking care of both my brother and sister is gonna to fall on me~ so, i must get myself AWAKE all the time!!

but now, so fast, another final exam is coming, wat the fuck im still doing here? thinking all the noncense?? brain keep on turning but not about studies~ wat la me!! tis critical timing i think all those stuffs~ really hope to have a vacation just right after i finish my exam~ i really hope my maths1 can get a pass tis time~ or else, even i get 4 flat also im not happy~ but then, another bad news is i have to start searching for QS consultant company or contractor's QS to see them either gonna accept me as trainee or not~ during my sem 3, which is after the coming Chinese New Year, im gonna work as trainee~ tis sem's holiday gonna burn just like tat~ not even got time to go travel a bit further

tired nitez

im just back from gathering with all my previous NS frens~
eling gonna go india to futher her studies as dentist~
so we all gonna made a farewell dinner for her..but just normal out to tea only la..next week at 31st august mayb we are gonna make another bbq party again at sg long~
all the best for her la, jiayou jiayou o~ pity Zellent always let us lan ci him~ he now at philipines den we half way call him ask him something~ haha den he so jealous~
nvm la, next time when he back here again den we gathering again lor.. still got lots of time mar we all still young~ but then really such a long period nvr saw him adi~
jia kei also came out just now, haha~ long time no see her also.. feel so miss them~ missing my life when having NS during last 2 years~ its free, free from fan nao, free from studies and problems~
picture i will upload later la bcuz it still with eling's camera~

now again another problem adi~ im going to have my practical training in another 2 more sems.. i really dunno which company i should choose~ or mayb i should ask my fren ask his dad and see can help or not~ i really got no idea about all those stuffs~ making me more fan nao only lor.. some more final exam just in 14 days more~ i got no time to study anymore, must work hard adi before i went back here again for party~ nitez bah everyone~

im sad

this few days dunno wat had happen to my phone..
i cant receive any sms or call even my phone is under the swtiched on's condition~
i need to off in den re-on it then only i can able to get calls and sms~
its making me frustrated!! gonna spoil? dun play me like tat la~
its new!! only one and half year how come will be like tat?
need how much to fix it up den? if only a lil bit under rm100~
den ok lor i go fix lor~!! its the 1st time i become sad when my phone got problem~
im not gonna change it again so soon la!! dam it !! fuck sony ericsson!!

well.. another things.. same is old problem again~
as wat i heard from others~ u have been too protected by me~
im working behind u helping u doing all those unnecessary things~
but then u will never realise how much im giving out~
every problem also i solve diam diam behind u~ i just dun wanna u face too much problems during this exams period but seem tat im doing some wrong things~
everyone is keep asking me~ why my blog always bad stuffs happen!
me myself also hope tat there is something happy and positive can let me post up here but too bad i dun have any~ so, pls dun ask me why my blog is dark~
but well, im really happy and appreciate that u had made me a pack of porridge~
i really unbelievable u made it out for me~ im thinking of it how come i dun have porridge~ den in another hours i get it adi~ haha

我永远都只是在你后面为你处理危机～
可是慢慢的我自己的朋友都会讨厌我了～
或许是因为我太过于保护你～什么都为你解决～
结果你就什么都不知道～因为我什么都没告诉你～
可是当我告诉你之后你又会怎样呢？
我怕你会脸黑黑～所以我宁愿我自己扛～
可是～这真的是伟大吗？这真的是牺牲吗？
我不知道！我不知道我自己在做对的东西
还是我自己其实是一厢情愿在好心做坏事～
过于保护也不是一件好事情～

我的电话这几天不知道做么出了很大的问题～
每次我的电话在处于开机状态我竟然收不到信息～
尽然人家达不到电话给我！是因为我没有还电话单么？
我觉得应该不是吧～就算我不给钱～
都没有可能收不到电话的啊！！死人头电话～
不要在我最烦恼的时候出现问题好不好～
我已经真的很够力烦恼了～考试啦，这个啦那个啦～
那些朋友们，我收不到你们的信息或者电话的～
请联络我的另一个号码～谢谢～还有不好意思～
因为发生了这样的事情我也不想的～
都不知道几时才可以做好我的电话!

exam coming

argh!! exam is just around the corner~ two more weeks later i will have to start my exams adi.. but till now i not even start to study yet~ so how? i still have to resit my maths but i din even touch a littlle bit figure from start of tis sem till now.. tis sem some more got another subject which is structural studies.. wat the heck is tat also i never get to know although i study it for 14 weeks~
ok fine, everyday plan to study~ but then end up with sleeping or moody~ dunno wat im keep thinking of.. if ppl dun wan den just dun think lor, no need think so much mar.. the one who fan nao is just me~ lolz, say is say like tat so easy, but when ask me to do it out? i think, its quite a hard job for me lar~ i really did hope tat in one day i will can really make choice!! i hate to being asking to do this and do that~ pls~ no one do so for me afterward~ or else i will really hate it !! you all de things u all ownself settle la why everytime must involve me into it? i dun like lor~
tis few days feel so tired and sleepy and den keep sleeping.. end up fucked up by someone~ lol.. sleeping only mar.. no one dun need to sleep.. like tat also i kena i really swt! but nvm la.. past is past~ no point to say it out again~ tis few days quite often talking with jun tze and ki lik and kokwah them~ feel so good at least i had told them some of my problems.. and they really got comfort me down and giving me some solution~ thx my frens~ 2moro is saturday! after class i think i will go back home.. last day adi i go back~ after tat i will stay here piah for my final exam until i fiinish exam lor.. addoil everyone~ nitez too~

相爱很难

最好 有生一日都爱下去
但谁人 能将恋爱当做终生兴趣
生活 其实旨在找到个伴侣
面对现实 热恋很快变长流细水
可惜我 不智或侥倖
对火花天生敏感
不过 两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人
也许相爱很难
就难在其实双方各有各寄望
怎么办
要单恋都难
受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难
但如未成佛升仙也会怕
爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难
未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫 又要有空间
得到定局 却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心 有人看不过眼
可惜我 不智或侥倖
对火花天生敏感
不过 两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人
也许相爱很难
就难在其实双方各有各寄望
怎么办
要单恋都难
受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难
但如未成佛升仙也会怕
爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难
未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫 又要有空间
得到定局 却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心 有人看不过眼
无论热恋中失恋中
都永远记住第一戒
别要张开双眼

没心情的一天

昨晚开始不知道怎么了，上课上到一半的时候
我的心情在哪突然之间down了下来～很down那种
生气不是生气，不爽也不是不爽～我也不知道干嘛～
原来我的脸真的臭得可怜～我还以为很正常而已
哪里知道一回到家，我家的人都问我，什么事情？
干嘛那张脸好像要杀人打架似的～我也不知道为什么
我每个月，都会来也一两次的～可怜的坏习惯～
为什么呢？没什么大事情可以让我脸臭那么久啊～
原本还以为睡觉起来就没事情了，可是～到现在～
我的心都好象是酸酸的～什么东西都不想管～
休息不够？也不是啊？我昨晚的睡眠很足够一下

等下有要去上课了～真的很讨厌下午的课～
因为昨晚我的脸黑的事情搞到eileen都不要理我了
晚上我sms过去他都没有回复～到今天，现在～都没有
在生气吗？还是真的很忙？还是不要理我了？
其实，有些问题真的存在于我的脑海里面很久了
我觉得我自己改变了，变到很小气～变到很，不可理喻吧
如果你们发觉到我变成了什么样子，告诉我嘛～
还是因为最近考试来临了，压力变大了～
我也变得没有那么开心开朗了呢？考试～唉～
想到考试就烦恼多了一堆～这个学期还要resit数学
还有这个学期还有一个structural study要考～
这两个都是可以给我死翘翘的算术科目！！
我要怎样去考啊？我真的很不想迟人家一年毕业啊！！

很对不起自己，对不起父母的感觉～
他们辛苦工作回来的钱给我读书～
给我吃给我花～我要什么有什么～
可是偏偏的他们想要的我却给不了他们～
我真的很坏吧？很败家哦？他们只想要全部及格而已
可是我连这个最基本的要求都达不到～
想回去，真的很可怜～很不好受～很伤心

excel is pissing me off!

Fark!! tis is only wat i can able to shout it out now!!
my nitez and my sleeping time is messing by the excel stuffs
how come i never learnt it before?
how come im tat stupid until dont even know how to use it?
how come i always do last minutes works?
how come even is a bit easy correctioning also i dunno?
hell la!! some more, haiz, today many things did happen~
im really in a bad mood now and sleepless drive me crazy!
2moro some more morning got class but then nevermind tat class im not planning to go also, i rather than sleeping or continue doing my stuffs also i dun wanna go for the class for nothing!
saturday is dateline but why i havent done my stuffs yet?
well, 2moro sure kena scold kao kao la~

a hopeless week

LOL.. tis week dunno why for me is really so hopeless.. everything come in just the same time.. assignment due date, midterm test, everything also coming back to me on just the same moment.. im breathless now and i really do need some relaxation.. i hate to do assignment.. i rather than to have more midterm test.. at least it can force me to study while assignment im just happy go lucky.. it is really no use and no help in my studies.. although it is true, it is easy to get marks.. but wat i want is not just marks, i need some real and useful knowledge in my life.. i cant wasting my life anymore.. seems like so no mood to start study only.. now adi is my week9 in this semester.. another 5 more weeks im gonna face my final exam again and well, this time again i have to resit my maths paper, it is already last chance for me if still get fail again, im really fucking die! need to repeat the whole subject.. why? why i just cant pass through tis? maths isn't that hard right?

luckily, tis weekend can spend some time in kampar.. hopefully it can relax down my mind which is really full with tension now.. okay, someone mayb see my face still hehe haha everyday and wont feel i got any tension or pressure.. ok fine, wat i can tell u is u are wrong.. my tension and pressure i wont show it up on my face.. argh!! i tot now student should enjoy their life, but then why i seems not so enjoyable? kinda of wasting time now and also lack of cash.. i need some cash.. but then i got no time to work also.. wat the!! at 1st can have some way to earn easy money but now the chance is away from me.. so, i just can eat myself.. problems again appear on me.. the date is getting closer and closer.. i have got a plan but just dunno izzit really can work or not.. i think~ mostly should be a NO from her ba~

a tired nite

tommrrow means saturday, later, 8am i will be having my midterm test for the measurement II but then i dunno wat is it talking about at all so now, haiz doing my last minutes preparation lor.. just now luckily sheng loong told me tat he got some tips for me so i fast fast go his home copy back~ hopefully 2moro the question will be the exactly same with wat i copy just now lor if not den i die kao kao again~ haiz~ why why? why i have to get my marks by using all these kind of bad ways? why i cant just start study from the beginning and then get the marks by a proper way?

lol, every student is like this, every student like to do last minutes works.. no one excepted! but then also no need tat last minutes mar~ me 2moro after exam some more need back home.. i scare if later i fall asleep in train or in bus den i die lor.. dunno need how long time only can reach home~ hmm, tired.. and sleepy too.. hope can go sleep now but cant.. regretting.. why i become so lazy? and useless!

its been quite a long time i never been blogging here~
haha know why? bcuz nothign much happen in between~
dunno wat i have to post but then finally i decide to write something up here, about my own feeling in this few days recently~
my another midterm test is just around the corner, tis saturday~
i havent revise everything yet lor, dunno how i will die this time, i dun hope i get anymore fail in this sem.. second year adi every paper also so heavy for me.. breathless!!
tis few days not really in mood dunno why~
just hope to be alone and dun wanna to talk~
but luckily today ok a bit adi, so now its ok jor~
and also finally i have my haircut with my fren, so my hair no longer like a bushes of grass and no need to wear cap to skul anymore, its freaking hot wearing a cap!
well, my ptptn loan havent bank in to me yet also, i scare to back home adi later my parents keep asking for tat! i really dunno hwo to answer.. the stupid ptptn department, why cnt they just pay us on time? if someone really need the money so much den how?
next two weeks, means 25 of july i will be at kampar again so, its xinyi bday have to go there find her celebrate lor.. since she came KL find me few times adi, its time for me to sacrifice a bit back to her la.. but train ticket also i havent buy yet.. dunno how

now my brain still full with some problems that i dun willing to face it, its bcuz i dunno how to solve it den only will be the best way for both side.. i dun wanna make any wrong decision on that matter anymore, i dun wan let ppl talk anything bad on me!

finally, its adi week 7.. so fast! i not even start study anything of it
2moro will have my 1st midterm test for Legal Studies
until now i also havent done my studies yet feel so tired now..
even study continue also no use, cant get into brain also.. so hope 2moro can awake earlier to continue study wat i havent done lor~
now ah wai is holidaying so he came find me for few days~ just went jalan alor for dinner, wat the hell dam expensive lor eating there~ but nvm lar, not often also..
haiz, when done legal studies, den continuous got assignment will keep coming up, building services lar, den until the measurement la.. haiz, die lor~ so soon final is coming to me

free!

yea huu!! finally im free from assignment~
although still left some minor changes on my structural studies..
but can done before today lar, dun worry~

last weekend i went kampar for a trip..
to visit xin yi, my ah jie there.. den shun bian take a nice breath lo
if not later she keep say me din go find her, haih~
haha finally im back again from kampar to wangsa

there de food really let me love that place, cheap and not bad~
a chicken rice with so many chicken only rm2.80..
lol, she told me it is adi expensive in kampar but its dam cheap in KL
den nite, ahha at 1st say wanna yam cha den suddenly change plan
den get to know one of her fren, Miss Pui Guan~ nice to meet u ya~

her housemate at 1st sight i saw them i tot they all also serious ppl
but end up more when i know them they are also funny funny ppl
so good can have such kind of housemate~ and sry ya for disturb u all few days~
mayb giving u all trouble in some way but, haha thx again for let me stay there

picture will upload later bcuz i havent get it yet

busy life

ahem, everytime during my birthday sure is a very very busy life that im having de.. so, wat to do? study ma, student's life is just need to study only and no need think much! but during my birthday, haiz really let my housemate all play me kao kao lor.. last year also same, tis year also same..
although they made BBQ for me but then end uo by drawing my whole body.. draw here and there luckily never take off my pants only.. like being raped! haiz~ so pity me but nvm.. once in a year so just let them play lar~ when comes to monday, me and my dear and some of my frens go eat steamboat at Genting Klang also.. den they all treat me eat.. haha, so bu hao yi si wanna to let them treat me~ lol! but pity is dun have a official cake lor.. they just buy me a simple cake with chili powder inside then let me eat.. luckily not very spicy only if not sure i shout liao~ some more the lester, use all those maggie de seasoning spicy wan put around my lips.. hot is not hot la but end up my lips bengkak a bit also~ Haha.. here comes 2 of the pic on the sunday nite..



posting it up late bcuz tis few days im currently busying with all my freaking assignment and all those nonsence! I have to pass up 3 assignment by this week, means, thursday one, friday one, and end up saturday also got one.. well, after that i might go to kampar to find xin yi, my jiejie there.. since long time nvr go find her adi so tis week Evan will go kampar so i may just join her bah.. bcuz the ktm ticket price also not very expensive only.. den still in mu budget den ok la.. mayb can WAT xin yi a few meal also de, kekeke!! ^^

asshole! pls get off from my blog!

ya right!! im scolding off those farking asshole who always keep visiting my page and shout at me while they dun dare to show me their name! right, im scolding utar management in 2 years time ago, so who the hell will so free go and find out all my old post and read it, especially, i FARK the UTAR management tat post already 1 years ago but still so dam many ppl go read it~
well, sorry for the inconvenience, anyone who have visiting my blog pls let me know your log in email address bcuz im gonna privatise up my blog from now on, only those who invited can see my blog.. tis is the worst solution for me but i really got no any idea anymore~ u scold me, fine i can stand for it, but pls, every of the FARKER pls dun simply scold ppl that around me~ u mother farker is the one who should go die but not my gal!! just shut your asshole mouth.. tis matter are not related to my gf now at all!! so wanna scold, call me! fuck you!! 0162066169

well, im getting fucked up by my own words.. dunno why im always accidentally saying out those words that might hurt somebody.. mayb in this few years of times no one care about my talking so no one angry with it.. some time my words can just come out without passing through my brain.. so, whenever im joking or shouting, pls dont take it so serious.. when im really seriously talking about something, u all will can see from my face lar~ im really not meant to hurt anyone by words.. but badly im always doing the mistake~ so sorry for everyone that might hurt before, especially my dearest.. sorry

car in workshop!

lol, very the unluckily our car had been send to workshop at friday evening and nite..

the story should start from here.. tis saturday is the only saturday tat i got no class, so my parent decide wanna to back ipoh see see my grandma and den my cousin's husband is bday mar, so we have a nice dinner also together.. but then, i reach sg besi LRT station around 4pm den they came fetch me to back.. ok den, i drivewhen i get into the car, when half way on the plus highway, hmm! not even half of it the journey from KL to Pulai.. den so suddenly my mum told me tat the water temperature meter bounce up to the redline, even cross the redline, den i so shock gaogao den luckily im just reach the rest place beside highway.. it is just tanjong malim, not even reach tapah yet!! den i fast fast drive in and stop.. den let ppl cucuk me again why drive so the hell fast? wat the?? its just 140 like tat only lor,only overtake ppl i speed to 160, like tat also my fault a? i everytime driving also tat speed wan la, 1st time see meh?

den we decide to change the water from the plastic tank.. when we rest about half an hour adi den my papa start the car and drive again. not even 10 minutes, the level reach the redline again.. den have to stop beside the highway.. waiting for help.. den end up we call for a tow truck.. rm80 GG adi for towing our car to the workshop.. reach the work shop also adi is time at 7++ or 8pm liao lor.. den we all start gan jiong adi,haiz tis nite will be a long long nite.. den after those workers checking, the boss told us, tis tis tat tat spoil, and then need rm1000 to repair it, and have to put the car at there overnite.. will be done on saturday or sunday!! wat the heck?

luckily the boss there is still quite a good ppl, he fetch us to those cheap palak hotel and stay one nite there.. den the next day, means saturday when my big uncle back ipoh, den we decide to ask for help from them, ask themtake 2 cars back to fetch us from tanjong malim.. haiz wat a bad luck day for me.. and also my parents, so suddenly rm1100 gone at last..

finally, all those part tat took out by those ppl there den we realize tat tis part, which name piston ring, burned kaokao!! den start blaming me again say me drive fast nvr see properly the water heat level!!

this pic is the comparison between ours and the one which already repaired properly.. my dad was just sent the car for servicing one week before.. but now wat the hell kind of job tat fellar gave us? surely have to go back "cheung sui" him adi de.. wat the, car's problem leh, cannot play play lar!! we paid for rm500 for it but we cant get back the satisfaction tat worth rm500 for us

this is the one which is OK .. how big difference if compare with the one in our car?

on the nextday, which is saturday, our car had become like tis jor.. aih~ wat a pity

其實很多女孩子都不知道

其實很多女孩子都不知道，他不會輕易把自己脆弱一面展現給你，雖然他還不能給予你什麼，但他會盡最大努力來保護你……
其實很多女孩子都不知道，他也會在他最最無助的時候想起你，當然，不是想要你幫他什麼，只是希望你不要擔心他……
其實很多女孩子都不知道，他並不怕你生氣，只是怕你生了氣、發過脾氣後依然不理他，男孩的感情也同樣細膩易碎啊……
其實很多女孩子都不知道，有些話只說一遍就夠了，因為你已經了解他，說多了，他會覺得不珍貴的……
其實很多女孩子都不知道，當你發脾氣時，他卻只會不做聲地等你把火發完，最後慢慢說：“你明天有課，早點睡吧……”
其實很多女孩子都不知道，他會默默地記住你在不經意時說過的一些話，並在某時某刻不斷地在心裡重復它們……

its a pity weekend for me that cannot be back at my own house..
at1st i tot wanna to back, but then since i back also just will make ppl angry, so i better stay away from house temporary.. tis is not wat i wish to be also.. i really duno why im the one who kena blame.. no one wanna to get failed la.. haiz,wat can i say beside that im giving out not enuff effort? im really got nothing to do here.. im boring, i just hope can be at home, but now seems everything is also under my fault.. ya, i accept it.. fail is fail.. monday i really have to go student affair to ask izzit any counseller provided.. if there is a yes, i will go and see, and found out wat problem is actually occur on me..

i do everything just tat dun wan ppl to get worried for me.. i go out have a tea, sometimes we did really never set any places, where we wanna go den just go lor.. and time, u ask me when i back.. if i know i will back at wat time, i will tell u.. i said before 12, i will get home before 12, mum, u ask yourself, izzit true.. izzit everytime i will back on time as how i told u before i out? some times i really dun have any idea tat wat time i will be back, so i just say dunno lar.. i dun wanna to lie to u all anymore, i can think myself.. even i got problems also i wont even sound out, i take it myself, just dun wan u all worry, i want u all get lesser fan nao on me, im 20 adi, i dun wan u all still worry for me after 20 years' worried.. its enuff.. but seems tat it is not use..

u all keep say me "ng sang sing".. but if really u come out u ask every of my frens truthly and sincerely, i can said tat.. no one will feel me "ng sang sing".. just sometimes, i can admit, some of them was not so agreed for my action.. but me is still me, weishioun, not other ppl's son.. im your son, i gotmy own way to do my stuffs la.. but just wondering why no one can accept my ways.. well, after sad i still have to keep walking down on my road, i still got a long way to go.. i wont give up easily.. but i also dun hope my maths will really make me get gradute late.. i wotn allow tis happen on me.. but im really very disappointed and sad is, no one will believe in me anymore

im really so bad, i had failed my maths for 3 times.. the same paper i exam 3 times also i cannot pass so wat else i can do? i dun wanna to get fail also ma!! who wanna to be fail in their studies? who dun even care their own result? everyone care right? but, my dad not even believe me tat i care for my result.. he called me just now, he scold me kao kao, every of his words also making my heart korek by thousands sword!! i did really tried my best to do everything for maths, i din even go out for the period when im going have maths exam, even clover stay so far also i get car to go find her teach me a bit!! even wei ling how busy also she teaching me everything!! when result is out she also keep say sorry tat cant make me get pass in it!! ya!! its true, i really can do all the question in exam, really!! but then, fine!! no one trust me, not even my own parent.. who else trusting me now? no one? i think so!! its not i want to get a fail! i hope to pass also, u all not believe , ask everyone around me la, see who stand up support me lor, see how many ppl can be withness for me tat i did really do my maths lor? even i sleep till half way 9pm also i get awake to go learn maths from wei ling.. i really do it!! and well.. no one trust

my tears had say goodbye to me long time ago, i also dunno how many years i never drop my tears adi, i tot, myself become a human tat without any tears.. but yes, well, just now i found tat, im not really tat tough yet, my tears had visit me again until the moment they all getting dry up after 20 minutes i think.. i got no tears to cry anymore.. when im sad, i not even find a ppl to have a talk with me.. im alone.. i feel so hopeless this time.. tis is not wat i want!! maths... its really trouble up my life.. my dad even ask me go find counseller!! izzit tat serious until like tat? u all everyone keep saying me never learn never try never do, EVERYONE WERE SAYING ME LAZY LIKE A SHIT!! AND USELESS LIKE A USELESS WOOD!! if just thats all u wanna to say me, fine, i accept.. its adi not the 1st time.. even my own dad also say me like tat, wat can i do?

at 1st im gonna back home 2moro bcuz of weekend, but now.. i not even dare wanna to go back.. i just hope to be alone here, no matter got or dun have anyone with me, i duncare!! i just dun like to face anyone at home, i dun wanna to make anyone else sad in house!! but my parent will forever wont understand wat kind of my though! ya, eileen, i wont blame u or anyone else anymore, i wont say tat u all nvr understand me anymore.. now, even my own parents also never trust me anymore, they not even understand how i did my work!! holiday is to relax up and get rest, to ensure i can walk further in future!! but wat my papa told me just now, u know how? well, i memorize it adi and write it out here

"now wat u want? tell me!! wat u want? why exam so many times adi still fail? u said u got try to do your best? but where is your best? in the 3 weeks holiday i never see u read your books or revision even one minutes! is tis a real student will be? u say u can do the question, but why the Fail is still there? u now no need to get mycar to out anymore, and i wont even let u get my car key in coming days until u get all PASS for me! u wanna go out den get a way by yourself! u always say got learn got learn, now i wont believe u anymore! i dun care how u doing, 2moro or monday u go find your skul counseller and then tell me how, if u don go i go with u, and after u see him/her u give me a call! " wat he means by asking me to see counseller? i need someone else to counsel me? HELL NO!! im ok and extremely normal.. i don need anyone else to counsell me, my mental are fine. but ok, since u ask me do so, i do for u! later u say me tis and tat again

well, i know u all everyone is caring me.. i know, i understand how disappointed u all when get my result, but, do u think tat i wont disappointed with myself? do u think tat im not sad at all when i get failed 3 times for a same paper? do u think tat i really not care for my future? do u all think tat tis is all i want? do u all think tat i really never try my best or give out effort to do it?
if all answer is a YES, well, den i speechless and keep myself shut!

i'm gonna fuck the maths!!!

wat the fucking hell is tis man? chiew ni ma de ji bet!!! i can do my maths 1 de lor!!! T.T
why why? why it is still a fail again? i'm aiming for pass, even i think can get a B!!
why the god treat me in such bad ways? T.T i really can do de.. why still fucking need resit again, again and again?!no one could help me tis time.. tis sem onward all in second year adi la fuck!
im really disappointed to myself.. lol.. pls no DISTURB me in class today, or else im gonna fired u all.. sorry to say tat.. once awake den fuck adi, everything goes wrong! wat the hell use even i can get a B+ and a A-? while all my important subject all still in fucking low grade which is C+ and a F in maths!!

i'm back

yea, im officially back to wangsa for my student life again, facing the walls for such a 3 weeks plus at home during my holiday~ its a really pityful holiday's life there tat i have! 2moro will be my first day of classes tat i have to attend all~ from 4-9pm la, wtf!! really speechless for it, so hot weather still wan me go skul at 4pm tis time!! haiz, and another bad news.. i had mayb made someone angry or unhappy liao~ im really not meant it to you.. but den i just dun wan to so suddenly like lost contact, suddenly disappear tat feel.. i dun like it~ so i prefer to let u busy every of your stuffs 1st den only find me, i wont be unhappy if u busy things and never find me, but i will unhappy if mian qiang u sms with me while u watching tv or wat, den lead to u never reply me sms~ aih, watever la.. i adi make explanation jor just tat waiting for your reply.. lol, im alone again at home again facing the walls.. but wat to do, no one was here yet to be with me or play with me or talk with me

我不会了～

我不懂了，我不知道我还能做些什么～那种可有可无的感觉真的很不好受。。真他妈的，可惜的是转眼间又要开学了，我又得面对一切一切的烦恼，一切的不开心与压力等等～所有不如意的问题都将会冲着我开学而来临，我该如何面对呢？我是否真的该检讨一下自己是否着的有能力接受所有的挑战呢？还是，我根本就是一个在逃避问题的人？数学不会做，就不做！这东西我不喜欢吃，就不吃！还是我该学学下如何去接受一个新的东西？就好象我的心时间表！！wat the FUCK is the only thing i can said!! 每一天的时间表都乱得很，就连我最不想上课的礼拜六都得去上那区区一个小时的课，真的无聊透顶了！！唉，最讨厌的时候就是当我一个人的时候，感到非常的孤独无助，我真的那么缺乏安全感吗？那谁人又可以给到我要的安全感，或者满足感呢？最近老是想找人喝茶聊天，可是偏偏却没有人有时间可以出来陪陪我。。或许大家都在忙着各自的生活吧。。明天会是我最后一天留在家了，明天下午我就得回归于我wangsa maju那儿的家了。。或许家庭温暖又再次的逐渐离我而去。。可是，人总该学习独立吧～ 我所向往的生活方式呢？到底去了哪里？之前所有所有我觉得都可以的生活方式呢？到底是随着什么原因而改变了？我真的不会了，不懂了，没有力了～ 我到底迷失在那里一个部分了啊？感觉上，我自己在也不是我想要的自己~

pictures

here come some part of the pictures that i took recently~ with edmond,huey yee and also ah wai~

oops! spoilt computer~

well, my own computer dunno why had faced some problems since 2 days ago but i never care it much since it still can be use~ but since yesterday noon, problems going to be serious adi, it even automatic restart my computer~ but nvm also bcuz yesterday nite i went to huey yee's skul to have a show by their chinese culture society~ afterward i back home around 12am~ lol.. den just now morning when i wake up and use my computer! wat the fuck, it some even restart automatically 4 times in 30 minutes times? fuck it off all!! and at least i decide to format it 1st before problems gonna serious again anymore.. but too bad is just my driver disk setup is nto with me now, its at wangsa maju~ so 2moro im gonna go there and take it back to install.. just wanna to try and see, izzit really my hardware got any problem! haih so bad luck la bought tis cheapalak lousy computer!! really bad luck!

stop fucking around!

so well now my mood was fucking angry fucking dunno wat to said! and im looking at someone else tat can solve the problem for me, and well ping hao is the only one tat can solve for me but too bad he is going for badminton and he will be only back at 1230am~ 1130pm adi im out from my house.. seems like no one will wanna me to being in tis house now, everyone keep scolding me saying me only~ holiday ma, out few more times will die meh? really speechless lor.. some more im not going out for fun, im going out for something inportant11!! pls la, im your son, be considerate~ i promised to ppl i must do the job! but well.. end up with ping hao's works, but not my works~ some more wat we did is not wat she wan.. nvm.. just do watever and however she want.. 2moro pass up adi den only see.. if anything error again, i think ping hao cant help ai in chinese words~ his apple mac just got tradisional chinese, dun have simplified~ so pity~ aih~ run here run there just for a picture..

after talking chat chat with ping hao now mood seems better dy, a bit recover.. pls! next time no more nagging when my mood is extremely bad!! not i wanna to quarrel with u all.. is just tat, see my face lar! when ppl not happy still wanna talk talk talk so much non stop! wat the... and sorry too mum, im really not meant to quarrel with u.. im doing and searching everything for the pic for 2 hours but gain nothing.. my mood.., try to think

我再次在此澄清！！我，所有我写的东西都没有针对任何人！一切一切都是出于我自己的观点,你们不了解个中原因就不要乱乱去问人家、说人家！不然的话，我的部落格不会欢迎你们！你们大家要看，就抱着局外人的眼光去看，或者以第三者的眼光去看！我不介意你们不了解我，我不介意你们误会我，但是！！你们看了之后可以不要到处去问人家说人家吗？我不介意不代表每一个人都不介意，我的感情事是我自己的事,与任何人都无关，我不需要你们多余的关心。。你知道吗，你们的一切举动，就来让我快疯了！我就来连我自己要写些什么东西都要考虑一千万次了! 我只要做我自己，我不需要别人的认同！你们有问题就直截了当问我，当面问我！不要在我的后面去问我最爱的人！我写的东西曾几何时很伤他的心，你们看了就不能当没有一回事吗？看了就好啦，干嘛有事没事跑去问人家？你们有话说，就在这里说，这里说清楚了大家都没事！这里看，这里散！ 拜托～

alone at wangsa

well.. i balik wangsa adi since just now 8pm ++.. so good if my housemate still here at least, i will go someone talk to me.. dun let me facing the walls all along the lonely nite~ 2moro is new batch of students' orientation day so mayb im going to have a look too.. with my gal along~ mayb can see back some of my frens tat younger than me there~ hope everything will going smoothly after i start my year2 course in quantity surveying.. i dun hope tat i mess up my study life when reach year2! every of my hope also in year2 adi.. i go for advance or going back utar at last also decide in year2~ ya, truthly, im so nervous about tat~ year2, dunno how my life is going to be? suffering? busying? or watever~ important is i still got frens there, no matter how, i not hope tat anyone of my fren been kicked out in year2 bcuz fail too many papers~ see u guys soon in another week~

edmond, i agreed woith your latest post~ wanna let it go but just cant do it well.. i understand tat feeling.. sometimes i got think about tat before~ so nvm, jiayou~ worse come to worst, my and huey yee's phone will just switch on for u~ find a day, tea together again ba~ just now lunch u cant make it so only left me and huey yee~ pity lor~ tot can fly with your myvi,. haha~ anyways~ sweet dream and just work la, i wanna work also cannot.. finish study dy, time to be independent dy~ all the best

矛盾的思想

人往往很矛盾，

喜歡她的倔強與有性格，卻受不了她的嬌縱。

喜歡她的落落大方，卻受不了她的朋友一堆；

你愛她的小家碧玉，就不要怪她不夠大方；

你愛她的活潑大方，就不要批評她像花蝴蝶一樣。

喜新厭舊是人性，日子久了，會結婚不是為了愛情，而是責任

感的驅使。婚後的他才慢慢的發現，當時的那一段感情其實不

是不愛，是時間太久了太長了，把愛情給磨掉了，再遇到另一

個女孩點燃了愛情的火苗，星星之火足以遼源，把枯竭已久的

愛情給予生命，所以倉促的決定結婚。

等到真的結婚後，愛情降了溫，才慢慢的發現其實妻子的身上

有著許多前任女友的影子，他比較愛的人其實還是前任女友，

可是他娶的卻不是她。

這樣的情節不知道是不是也在別處同樣上演著？

學生時代的愛情很單純，出社會以後總想等工作穩定以後再結

婚，工作穩定以後又想等有一點積蓄買車子、買房子以後再結

婚，等著等著，等到愛情被時光給消磨，等到第三者介入點燃

了對方心中激情的火苗，乾柴烈火不可收拾以後，曾經在年少

一起織夢的理想全都抵擋不了新鮮感的激情，所以琵琶別抱，

到最後步入禮堂的都不是在一起同甘共苦、共同經歷過寒、暑

假，等當兵的人。

hate holidaying!!

why to be a student is so hard to get satisfied? during skul days, keep on say very tired o very hate study oo, hope can have holiday.. but now holiday start, everyone shouting for boring also.. why why why? we all tarc de holiday actually is really sucks! our holiday always clash with others' studying time.. but while we are studying till siok siok middle of sem during every midterm~ den ppl adi holiday.. den start got ppl asking to out for tea la tis la tat la! wanna go also cannot!

mayb, sunday im gonna have a tea with edmond and huey yee again too~ depends on them who are not free, den change date lor~ since we all also pk kao kao adi.. need time to have some savings~ i still need a blackie, a set of speaker and some extra shirts and wallet~ LOL, spend money like using water! sure kena say wan~ now, bored.. but dunno why still havent can get to sleep, waiting for wat? izzit im carrying up myself a burden? seems like im not so happy with it, wat reason? why why? mayb, deeply depressed really need someone know psycho to gimme some treatment~

digi?? pui !!

well.. according to wat the title, u all also should agak agak know la wat im gonna type here... today i went time square with my VVVIP housemate , evan~ shit them digi! i go ask them print bills, but how say also at last ineed to pay for rm150!! fuck fuck fuck!! i use too over adi especially my bro, sms one month can reach 1800++ some more rm48 for only sms~ shit lor~ balik rumah kena say again~ haiz~ evan lagi pity her bills counted wrongly, i really beh tahan how come computer generated bills also will count wroly for the total amount of usage!! computer spoil, change new set lar diu!! really speechless for digi's system! if condition is allowed, im gonna change plan, to maxis or celcom also better than nothing!

haiz, today went time square, saw something new and nice, like it somuch but too bad not enuff cash with me.. end up just bought a bracelet.. for my dear~ hopefulyl she will like it.. wat else also i din buy just tis~ seems like i also long time never buy any present for her d~

new template

lol.. kanasai wan, once i change new template for my blog diuu!! everythings gone lar.. all my link lists lar, tis and tat!! waste time to recover it again and some link lists might be lost, if anyone wanna me to link you up,just leave me a message lor.. so sorry for alls.. till now also havent done everything yet~ sei lor..

and tat saturday nite just went clubbing, with edmond,huey yee, and also edmond's frens.. he told us tat a girll who name Grace birthday so she ask edmond go club, den edmond ask we all.. hmm, really, having fun there.. although is quite costly lar, but nvm.. just dun go too often den can adi.. having fun with edmond and also huey yee~ we all, walao dance like our place like tat like nobody around us~ crazy lor everyone! but then edmond's frens we all dunno much just got talk a bit only.. but meet back previous old times fren who name Vzai and his fren, tat called ah bi.. not so sure yet.. aih but too bad, we play until almost 5 only reach home.. 3am finish club adi den still go yam cha.. hmm, mayb drink too much~ den make me cant sleep well, just sleep quite a few hours den wake up to lunch again with edmond they all.. haiz.. make me so tired~ but, pic still not with me yet, so will be upload later~

and last but not least!! im gonna FUCK the DIGI OFF!! diu nia sing my bills.. march's bill they wrote there i spend for rm160, kanasai! im not doing big business how come will got rm160? and when i go online check my statement, i realize that they even counted my february and january's bills inside! niama lor!! when bills comes, i kena shoot kao kao! wat the hell la, i called to digi helpline tat time, the operator told me they will settle down before month end, ok fine den i wait.. wait till now bill also came adi, but my bill still never been settle yet! fuck off!! clear up my bills now and im gonna MNP to celcom!! no 3G, line sucks, services sucks! 2moro im gonna go time square to settle it down~

2moro my dear will be at skul to prepare her xia xiang things adi.. she just back from s'pore just now at nite~ so she adi sleeping jor lor i think~ 2moro some more she need awake early to go skul.. all the best for her 2moro.. ya, althought i very dun like all those things, but me is me, she is she.. i wont stop her from doing anything tat she like anymore~jia you~ haha and my "mum" too, huey yee your performance gonna start soon lor, jiayou to prepare ya~ me and edmond will be there for u.. haha

更正

here by i did wish to make some correction about those few passages i posted few days ago~ ya, true.. its all wat i had feel.. but wat i feel is not means tat wat really had happen before.. so, its all only my feeling and cannot be hundred percent believed is REAL~ and here comes, my apologize, who had related to my post before, and sorry if i said somethng tat might hurt anyone~

在这之前，或许我被生气霸占了我的头脑吧，感觉上我写的东西统统都把矛头指向了不应该指向的人。。所以，我不想大家妄加猜测。。就把它当作一片片的故事来看吧。。不懂事情头尾结果的话就别把这当真。。我所觉得的东西不代表是真实的存在，可能只是我自己的一番思想。。再次我说对不起给一些牵涉到这些事情的人，对不起~

wat actually is means by LOVE ?

love? wat it means actually? like someone, ya i'm loving someone.. she will be the 1st place in my heart.. not even i put myself at tat high place before.. so, she is important for me, im nto able to lose her, cant stay without her.. but just, problems keep appearing.. SEEMS like she dun like keep giving me care when im down. ok, now i explain.. when i down, how u expect my face will be? bright? colourful? for sure wont right? surely is dak la black la grey la like tat lor! if she keep going asking me.. ya, i may tell her wats the problems is.. im waiting for whole day just wanna to waiting for her to back, to pui me.. den she said, she scare disturb me studying my math.. ok fine den i accept tis.. since its good for me, and it may be true also i may just keep talking den din do maths~ but do u know tat, my maths NOT EVEN IMPORTANT THAN U? maths, ok, failed.. can resit.. repeat.. wat the problem is just money and fees!! if i lose u, i can resit or repeat? can i? the answer is HELL NO!! but whenever i feel like wan u to be with me, sure will got something come out den until we both also beh song~ why? i just wan more time from you.. time and care izzit so hard to give out? ya, at skul we can meet each other.. but, do u think tat few hours is all for mine? i dun think so.. u talk with your frens more than I do.. go eat go toilet every where also your frens around.. we dun even have times to be two, that only u and me, is NEVER.. go eat, ya where they eat den u follow den i follow.. i just hope to berdua duaan, we adi no time for each other except studying time~ so, cant just sacrifice bit? if like how we do now, i can even do to other gals that i know.. every frens also like tis wan la, u are their fren, but is my girlfren! pls~ im your boyfren.. i can even walk to jusco just to buy something, 酸梅 for u~ turn back, will u purposely walk there and buy for me, when i said I FEEL LIKE WANNA TO EAT? i walk to there, u never ask me go.. ya, me ownself sohai, i wanna purposely go walk.. cant bame anyone.. but from tat way, can prove tat how impratant u are for me! but.. turn another way round, seems like... im not so important for u only.. someone told me, when a gals really like u need u, she will find watever excuses to just hang out shopping or even just a tea with u.. ya, im doing all these in past few years times.. but now, i ask u out u say cannot, dun wan.. dun wanna to cheat mama.. ok lar.. den i accept also, i dun hope u cheat mama.. but then u cannot just tell tat just out with normal frens? a lil bit cheating also dun wan den i really speechless.. everytime, i went out play im thinking about u.. wat u doing , pity u pity me going out play also cant ask u to out~ and do u think tat i can be truthly happy playing if without u? ya, i went PUTRAJAYA, without telling u.. u know? tat time u know wat time? u should sleep adi mar, i just dun wanna to disturb u, some more is no big deals de thing.. and I'M NOT gonna to CHEAT u.. if im planning to cheat u dun wan let u know i went there, i wont even post up my photo here and there.. so.. dunno la.. my houysemate everyday see me, surely they will know wat im feeling if they read tis..

and at last, u had made a decision, temporary break up.. for me, i nvm.. watever u decide i will just accept.. since everytime we discuss those problems also discuss until quarrel.. i think it is also time to cool us both down.. and at last, i keep telling u tat, i just need more of your time and your care!! den u ask me to shut up, and say im looking for quarrel.. so, do u all think tat, i tell out my needed also is a way tat wanna to quarrel? i tell truthly wat i want also u not acceptable, i cheat u also u dun like den u wan me how?? past few months i giving out my CARE without caring any respons and payback tat i might get from u.. but now, U SEEMS LIKE MORE ENJOY TO TAKING THAN GIVING CARE from me.. i can care u for no reasons, why u will only care me when there is some reasons? when my mood down, my face black, its time that i need u the most, but u just walk away .. i'm alone preparing for war, i'm alone to die in the war zone, and feels like no one care about my life.. even i dead or alive... actually im really sad bcuz of it.. but after tat, when i finish my maths resit.. my mood recover back adi.. ya, i lvoe u so.. i love deeply some more, crazily some more.. but at last, wat i get back is just "temporary break up"

holiday !

yea, true.. my holiday had officially started from thursday.. bcuz my last paper which is my resit paper for maths1 had adi gone! yay! tis time hope can get pass lar, although i aim for higher grade, but how bad also at least pass im happy enuff jor~ hmm, before start holiday so hope to holiday, but then now start holiday adi den feel like my life too free, nothing much to do also.. so boring~ wanna go shopping !! wanna go clubbing!! hahaha, see who else free den date me for tea bah~ so hard only im available for everyone.. but better tis few days rest 1st since the exams week i never get rest enuff~ everyday burn midnite oil.. gonna die ler la if continue sleep so late de hua~ and all the best for those who still having exam tat studying in utar~ jiayou!!

为什么没有人知道我在想什么？我的心里面想的东西真的那么难理解吗？难得，可以出来几天，我要求的不是48小时，我只希望可以有短短的、完整的一两个小时可以陪陪我，谈话也好教我数学也好。。起码我都会开心点。。对！我的心情不好，不好是因为什么？因为明天考数学！我最恨之入骨的数学，我的心情怎么会好呢？我不会做，我很无助，没人可以帮我！可是到最后，还是一样没有人看得到我想要怎样。。为什么？我在你的心里面的印象就只有存在着坏的哪方面吗？完全一点点好的印象都没有吗？嗯，或许是对的，或许我真的是那么的不知所谓，自己拿来衰。。你要去上街，我没有说什么，因为我知道，我也看得出你很想跟他们出去，而且难得你可以跟他们去玩，所以我没有说些什么阻止你，我在家好好的等待你回来。。希望你回来后可以有一两个小时陪陪我，教教我数学也好。因为我真的真的很无助。。现在的我，是20年来的最低潮。。但是没有人发现到吧？我也不期望有买些什么给我，只想你晚上安全归来。。好咯，等咯，终于等到了，但是结果呢却不是我想要的。。到最后我还是得一个人拼我的数学，我不懂不会做的时候一样没有人可以教我，因为我家个个人都忙着各自的考试。。或许是我的态度有问题？我冷落了你？但是我希望的是你可以主动来开解我，我心情低落的时候我就只会想一个人，但是我只是想要你的锲而不舍的，死缠烂打的来问我，说我，讲我，杀我，就算骂我，我也不在乎。。我希望的只是在有限的时间里面可以得到你无限的陪伴。。有很多时候的确我是比较过分，我的心情是怎样我没有好好的说明，我希望的是你可以看得穿我，但是到最后你看不穿，还得受我脸色，但是我真的不是有心的。。谁人都好心情差的时候都会脸臭臭吧？算了吧，反正。。我的心声也不会有人听到，到此了结