im really so bad, i had failed my maths for 3 times.. the same paper i exam 3 times also i cannot pass so wat else i can do? i dun wanna to get fail also ma!! who wanna to be fail in their studies? who dun even care their own result? everyone care right? but, my dad not even believe me tat i care for my result.. he called me just now, he scold me kao kao, every of his words also making my heart korek by thousands sword!! i did really tried my best to do everything for maths, i din even go out for the period when im going have maths exam, even clover stay so far also i get car to go find her teach me a bit!! even wei ling how busy also she teaching me everything!! when result is out she also keep say sorry tat cant make me get pass in it!! ya!! its true, i really can do all the question in exam, really!! but then, fine!! no one trust me, not even my own parent.. who else trusting me now? no one? i think so!! its not i want to get a fail! i hope to pass also, u all not believe , ask everyone around me la, see who stand up support me lor, see how many ppl can be withness for me tat i did really do my maths lor? even i sleep till half way 9pm also i get awake to go learn maths from wei ling.. i really do it!! and well.. no one trust

my tears had say goodbye to me long time ago, i also dunno how many years i never drop my tears adi, i tot, myself become a human tat without any tears.. but yes, well, just now i found tat, im not really tat tough yet, my tears had visit me again until the moment they all getting dry up after 20 minutes i think.. i got no tears to cry anymore.. when im sad, i not even find a ppl to have a talk with me.. im alone.. i feel so hopeless this time.. tis is not wat i want!! maths... its really trouble up my life.. my dad even ask me go find counseller!! izzit tat serious until like tat? u all everyone keep saying me never learn never try never do, EVERYONE WERE SAYING ME LAZY LIKE A SHIT!! AND USELESS LIKE A USELESS WOOD!! if just thats all u wanna to say me, fine, i accept.. its adi not the 1st time.. even my own dad also say me like tat, wat can i do?

at 1st im gonna back home 2moro bcuz of weekend, but now.. i not even dare wanna to go back.. i just hope to be alone here, no matter got or dun have anyone with me, i duncare!! i just dun like to face anyone at home, i dun wanna to make anyone else sad in house!! but my parent will forever wont understand wat kind of my though! ya, eileen, i wont blame u or anyone else anymore, i wont say tat u all nvr understand me anymore.. now, even my own parents also never trust me anymore, they not even understand how i did my work!! holiday is to relax up and get rest, to ensure i can walk further in future!! but wat my papa told me just now, u know how? well, i memorize it adi and write it out here

"now wat u want? tell me!! wat u want? why exam so many times adi still fail? u said u got try to do your best? but where is your best? in the 3 weeks holiday i never see u read your books or revision even one minutes! is tis a real student will be? u say u can do the question, but why the Fail is still there? u now no need to get mycar to out anymore, and i wont even let u get my car key in coming days until u get all PASS for me! u wanna go out den get a way by yourself! u always say got learn got learn, now i wont believe u anymore! i dun care how u doing, 2moro or monday u go find your skul counseller and then tell me how, if u don go i go with u, and after u see him/her u give me a call! " wat he means by asking me to see counseller? i need someone else to counsel me? HELL NO!! im ok and extremely normal.. i don need anyone else to counsell me, my mental are fine. but ok, since u ask me do so, i do for u! later u say me tis and tat again

well, i know u all everyone is caring me.. i know, i understand how disappointed u all when get my result, but, do u think tat i wont disappointed with myself? do u think tat im not sad at all when i get failed 3 times for a same paper? do u think tat i really not care for my future? do u all think tat tis is all i want? do u all think tat i really never try my best or give out effort to do it?
if all answer is a YES, well, den i speechless and keep myself shut!