?? dunno wat should write, so juz simply use the Q marks to start lor.. dunno why suddenly got such a stupid question appear wan.. ya, i'm quite fren wit her suddenly.. before this we also not really always contact with each other, juz lately only we contact back and den everyday chat.. dunno why hor, mayb we chat too often adi gua? someone really misunderstood us adi.. her fen tot she 2gether with me.. ??!! wtf?!! how come so cincai so easy jiu 2gether wan? but.. haih~ she suddenly ask like that, den i have to ask myself.. ASK MYSELF CLEARLY DEEPLY why this kind of problem will appear!! izzit i really did something wrong?? ya.. i admit, she is not bad.. quite can talk wit me.. but.. juz not bad.. still havent think about she is my cup of tea yet!! GOD help me!!! i wan study hao hao lai i dun wan think about tis problem liao laa...!! Grr!!
haih, why every problem sure come to me de? juz now i read an article about online and sms.. later i post another page again about it.. quite lazy to type chinese here.. im really gonna crazy if i keep on addicted to computer.. im not gamer,dunno why when internet down in few days before!! i really gonna crazy and feeling like wanna die.. feeling like scare this happen that happen.. izzit i too sensitive,think too much? or im really have some problem? haiz, so sad so DEPRESSED!! since i got a long long vacation after i stop study in utar.. actually juz one month only wat? not very long rite?but for me, juz like stay at home adi 10years!! hope someone date me out.. but everyone was busying study, assignment, coursework, working... no one was free.. even those "pig and dog fren" last time also dun wan talk to me adi la? izzit my problem? i HATE LONELY, hate to be ALONE.. but im TOO BE DOOMED BY GOD that i should be lonely juz after i wake up from my dream.. do you all think that everyday can sleep until 12pm is very good? very nice rite? i can tell u here!! NOTHING WAS SO GOOD TO DO THAT!! i hate that feeling juz after i wake up!! i hope that really can sleep forever until someone was here to play talk chat shop wit me.. see la, no study also fan nao.. study also fan nao.. wat so many things to let me fan? everything can be settle down rite?? nothing is impossible as long as i try to do it!! but juz... i lose my confident at all adi.. except for english related papers~
dunno should say luckily or unluckily.. tis weekend i have to back ipoh for ching ming on sunday morning~one nite cannot use computer, i here to let u all BET, will i die bcuz of that? but go back got all my cousin there,wont be boring also la.. but juz.. no computer like my soul also lost half adi.. 魂不附体似的~ i dun wan i become like this.. i have to prove that i can live without computer.. so sad about it.. juz now afternoon when im doing something in wash room.. suddenly my behind part around the waist.. kena calar kao kao but the pail that fully with water, at 1st nothing wrong wan juz feel pain pain abit,sure wan la kena calar.. but den later i bath,once it touch the soap!! walao!!! really pain until i almost shout!! wtf.... today is bad luck day~ hope to go out also no one willing to go out wit me.. am i really so bad? suan le bah~ juz be myself.. if i change, den i no longer is weishioun anymore~ now, juz waiting for ping hao to have holiday later^^ den on no need worry that nothing to do at home~ haiz, drama also all finish adi la, someone tell me pls wat else i can do?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
haiz.. sad, heart pain for it
hmm, 2day whole day bored at home finally at nite can go pasar malam with Samantha and Mei Sei liao.. so damn bored at home for this few months really make me feel like dying.. CB today whole day raining.. wtf!! so scare no time to go out lor.. haiz, bt finally at last i bought something fromt here.. juz the small small bear for phone use.. i still cannot find the big big coin saver.. dunno why leh im seems so desperate to go out hor? mayb gua.. bcuz really at home for such a damn long time liao.. when someone ask me free or not sure i say FREE..
as i noe she din study for whole day,but she got test on next tuesday leh.. hope she will study hard lor after that.. haiya!! i m so damn blur lor.. i dunno that she not feeling well.. if not i also dun wan she teman we walk pasar malam laa... so guilty now.. make her body become weak.. i juz noe she not feeling well, but i dunno it is really so serious.. but nvm la.. except for concerning, wat else i can do? a lil bit heart pain when saw her face so suffering, still wan she fetch me back after yam cha.. so worry... but at last she reach home safely, den also no need worry liao la.. juz sleep only lor.. but i take so damn many cup of nescafe.. really 2nite seems like no need sleep adi lor.. my stomach full with useless GASES.. and whole body feeling damn hot, hard to sleep..
but leh 2moro i have to wake up early ar!!! i have to go Midvalley before go setapak.. to have a movie with them!! haiz, dunno can wake up on time or not.. and.. dunno my tis hard feeling izzit related with cigarette leh? few days din take liao.. haih, so hard to tahan lor.. argh !!! suffer T.T
im going to setapak soon.. actually why everytime when im doing some decision also sure got problems wan?? laz time when sem2, bcuz of someone i choose to continue.. but at last also i prefer to stop in sme3 since i notice i adi wasted lot of money and times.. it is not worth anymore for me to keep waiting~ but now, dunno why so fast i change target liao.. my "aiya" mama is supporting me to go ahead,, but still some problem appear in my mind.. i really dunno should i go for her or not.. start from end of april we have to move into setapak adi i think.. so we will got less chance to meet except for weekends when im coming back.. so sad.. T.T really hard to choose.. how come im so easy to fall inside these TRAPS?!!!? i hope to be free.. but very hard for me to be free.. im ...... moody now.. plus anger a bit... why i so stupid drink so many cup of nescafe? until whole stomach also water inside, hard to get sleep.... regret adi.. no more next time !!
as i noe she din study for whole day,but she got test on next tuesday leh.. hope she will study hard lor after that.. haiya!! i m so damn blur lor.. i dunno that she not feeling well.. if not i also dun wan she teman we walk pasar malam laa... so guilty now.. make her body become weak.. i juz noe she not feeling well, but i dunno it is really so serious.. but nvm la.. except for concerning, wat else i can do? a lil bit heart pain when saw her face so suffering, still wan she fetch me back after yam cha.. so worry... but at last she reach home safely, den also no need worry liao la.. juz sleep only lor.. but i take so damn many cup of nescafe.. really 2nite seems like no need sleep adi lor.. my stomach full with useless GASES.. and whole body feeling damn hot, hard to sleep..
but leh 2moro i have to wake up early ar!!! i have to go Midvalley before go setapak.. to have a movie with them!! haiz, dunno can wake up on time or not.. and.. dunno my tis hard feeling izzit related with cigarette leh? few days din take liao.. haih, so hard to tahan lor.. argh !!! suffer T.T
im going to setapak soon.. actually why everytime when im doing some decision also sure got problems wan?? laz time when sem2, bcuz of someone i choose to continue.. but at last also i prefer to stop in sme3 since i notice i adi wasted lot of money and times.. it is not worth anymore for me to keep waiting~ but now, dunno why so fast i change target liao.. my "aiya" mama is supporting me to go ahead,, but still some problem appear in my mind.. i really dunno should i go for her or not.. start from end of april we have to move into setapak adi i think.. so we will got less chance to meet except for weekends when im coming back.. so sad.. T.T really hard to choose.. how come im so easy to fall inside these TRAPS?!!!? i hope to be free.. but very hard for me to be free.. im ...... moody now.. plus anger a bit... why i so stupid drink so many cup of nescafe? until whole stomach also water inside, hard to get sleep.... regret adi.. no more next time !!
Monday, March 17, 2008
done my decision!!
2day is sunday.. mayb now is no more sunday liao la.. too late adi.. as wat my papa hope, im going to the educational fair at klcc today wit my fren.. he is my ex-skulmate + good fren~ sheng loong~ we reach klcc around 2pm like tat la, den at 1st we went into the showroom.. waa!! damn lot of ppl but no oen is we kenal de.. all also stranger~ but finally we saw one guy, which is also our ex-skulmate.. who studying in UCSI and he was there to help his skul to promoting~ and den later on we wanna find out where is the tar college's boots~ finally we found it out !!! but, u noe wat? damn lot of ppl was waiting there to asking some problem.. huh?! we are so shock about tat, den i said "even though is cheaper skul but also no need really tat much of ppl wat?" den we decide to go out to have a break, cigarette break..bcuz, im a bit moody,some more he got extra, so he belanja me la.. den we saw an indian guy!! suddenly shout at me, ask me "eh ,macha!! pukul berapa sekarang?" i said pukul dua lor... den he keep on following us to our "destination", which is a pondok.. to have a break, he also sit in front of us.. to have a break.. we both tot that, izzit tat guy got some problem? den when we resting and chatting.. he shout again, sei lor!! is time damn scary lor.. he ask "mau main lan jiao ka?"... when i heard, i really dunno i should scare or laugh at him !! hahaha!! funny rite?? but we still a lil bit scare la, later he use knife cucuk us.. hoho!! den ma sei lor??
afterward we go inside the showroom again and finally.. there is less ppl who waiting jor so we walk towards them la.. but tat uncle har!! really MOFO!! asked so damn many things so damn many questions!!! we stand there to wait for our turn at least half an hour!!!
haiz.. den we juz ask some simple question la.. tat gal is right.. why we start at utar, but we dun work hard to archive wat we want?? why we have to waste our time and waste our parent's money juz for nothing?! but that is adi past la.. so i also dun wan to think about it anymore.. for me now i should juz see in front !!! i ahve to work hard, have to pay out my effort to make sure i have a good future!!! but, can i able to do tat? do you all think tat i can?? i hope so la.. but QS, im not really understand wat it is talking about.. i jzu noe.. wat it needs is juz counting.. if simple counting i sure no problem la, jzu dun have some hard hard addmath inside den can adi lor.. and for your information, according to the title laa.. wat i have decide is. im choosing TARC as my skul, and im also choosing that QS is my way to go, hopefully everything goes smooth~
juz now, May said me tha im not facing and settling my problem.. im juz keep on escaping from it.. i wonder, why my papa nad May both of them also say me like tis.. mayb they are right la.. so far, im juz escaping .. i never try my best to fix the problem.. like my math.. everyone can do it if everyone willing to give out some effort.. but me?? i jzu keep on saying tha "nola, i canot do wan la, addmath too hard adi, i never get a pass also when secondary skul? so for sure now Uni level i cannot handle laa" i noe, sure u all said tis is juz an EXCUSE for me to avoid from reality.. haiz, if im still keep on ab\voiding like tis, sure i got no FUTURE la.. no ppl dare to come near me also, bcuz im too -ve.. -ve too much also not good... feeling myself is gonna become crazy in one day later.. mayb i really need some help?? counseling?? or some psychologist come and help me? im gonna become psycho sooner if not settle tis.. im really seriously depressed now~ T.T wat i think about all is also negative.. never been positive even once.. god god god,.. if you are really appear in tis world, help me pls?? give me some clues.. wat should i do for next??
today when im coming back from klcc.. i take ktm to back serdang.. im thinking that should i call my papa to come ktm leh? or should i walk back to the mines, find something out den only call papa go mines fetch me leh? at last i decide to walk back to the mines.. sambil walk can sambil thinking.. i bought a bottle of water~ one kali drink it finish, feeling my stomach not so well.. mayb one shot too much water go inside adi gua?! den i walk to computer shop.. i wanna get some brochure to get another new set of pc.. i m still wondering, should i ask for a laptop, or a desktop from my parent? if i really can get a house wit kin they all, i think i will prefer to get a desktop la.. main reason sure is bcuz it is CHEAP, lol... but it cannot bring to anywhere.. but my house also got one set of pc adi ma.. so no need bring here and there lor.. but when i think back, the life when CNY at my popo house~ so damn pity without computer.. my life is really bored untill sleep whole day.. if i got a laptop sure damn siok adi laa.. but, sure some ppl maight say me aln ci if i go back popo house also wan bring laptop balik.. some more, laptop aint cheap!! normally i better laptop also cost you around 3k.. for me, 3k de laptop is still not good enuff yet.. but, mei ban fa lor.. bcuz papa not rich, so juz need average enuff la.. but then when i get 3k, i can get a damn superb desktop adi laa~~ do u think worth to buy laptop? hmm,i dun think so.. bcuz i juz finish counting the price for the next desktop tat i wan, whole set juz rm1322.. but exclude for LCD screen and speaker as well laa..but mayb the speaker also juz cost me around rm200? LCD monitor i think can get an 15inch enuff la.. mayb only rm200~ whole set juz rm1722 maa.. haiz.. but 1722, still too expensive jor la.. should reduce some part, mayb speaker dun wan so expensive de lor..
afterward we go inside the showroom again and finally.. there is less ppl who waiting jor so we walk towards them la.. but tat uncle har!! really MOFO!! asked so damn many things so damn many questions!!! we stand there to wait for our turn at least half an hour!!!
haiz.. den we juz ask some simple question la.. tat gal is right.. why we start at utar, but we dun work hard to archive wat we want?? why we have to waste our time and waste our parent's money juz for nothing?! but that is adi past la.. so i also dun wan to think about it anymore.. for me now i should juz see in front !!! i ahve to work hard, have to pay out my effort to make sure i have a good future!!! but, can i able to do tat? do you all think tat i can?? i hope so la.. but QS, im not really understand wat it is talking about.. i jzu noe.. wat it needs is juz counting.. if simple counting i sure no problem la, jzu dun have some hard hard addmath inside den can adi lor.. and for your information, according to the title laa.. wat i have decide is. im choosing TARC as my skul, and im also choosing that QS is my way to go, hopefully everything goes smooth~
juz now, May said me tha im not facing and settling my problem.. im juz keep on escaping from it.. i wonder, why my papa nad May both of them also say me like tis.. mayb they are right la.. so far, im juz escaping .. i never try my best to fix the problem.. like my math.. everyone can do it if everyone willing to give out some effort.. but me?? i jzu keep on saying tha "nola, i canot do wan la, addmath too hard adi, i never get a pass also when secondary skul? so for sure now Uni level i cannot handle laa" i noe, sure u all said tis is juz an EXCUSE for me to avoid from reality.. haiz, if im still keep on ab\voiding like tis, sure i got no FUTURE la.. no ppl dare to come near me also, bcuz im too -ve.. -ve too much also not good... feeling myself is gonna become crazy in one day later.. mayb i really need some help?? counseling?? or some psychologist come and help me? im gonna become psycho sooner if not settle tis.. im really seriously depressed now~ T.T wat i think about all is also negative.. never been positive even once.. god god god,.. if you are really appear in tis world, help me pls?? give me some clues.. wat should i do for next??
today when im coming back from klcc.. i take ktm to back serdang.. im thinking that should i call my papa to come ktm leh? or should i walk back to the mines, find something out den only call papa go mines fetch me leh? at last i decide to walk back to the mines.. sambil walk can sambil thinking.. i bought a bottle of water~ one kali drink it finish, feeling my stomach not so well.. mayb one shot too much water go inside adi gua?! den i walk to computer shop.. i wanna get some brochure to get another new set of pc.. i m still wondering, should i ask for a laptop, or a desktop from my parent? if i really can get a house wit kin they all, i think i will prefer to get a desktop la.. main reason sure is bcuz it is CHEAP, lol... but it cannot bring to anywhere.. but my house also got one set of pc adi ma.. so no need bring here and there lor.. but when i think back, the life when CNY at my popo house~ so damn pity without computer.. my life is really bored untill sleep whole day.. if i got a laptop sure damn siok adi laa.. but, sure some ppl maight say me aln ci if i go back popo house also wan bring laptop balik.. some more, laptop aint cheap!! normally i better laptop also cost you around 3k.. for me, 3k de laptop is still not good enuff yet.. but, mei ban fa lor.. bcuz papa not rich, so juz need average enuff la.. but then when i get 3k, i can get a damn superb desktop adi laa~~ do u think worth to buy laptop? hmm,i dun think so.. bcuz i juz finish counting the price for the next desktop tat i wan, whole set juz rm1322.. but exclude for LCD screen and speaker as well laa..but mayb the speaker also juz cost me around rm200? LCD monitor i think can get an 15inch enuff la.. mayb only rm200~ whole set juz rm1722 maa.. haiz.. but 1722, still too expensive jor la.. should reduce some part, mayb speaker dun wan so expensive de lor..
Saturday, March 15, 2008
wat the fuck !!!!
since now i'm really damn fucking hate liao !! once i wake up they keep on nag nag nag at me non stop!!! wat la!! u wan me go the stupid educational fair, tell me la!! i adi told u, me Sunday not free i had promised my fren to go some where with them!! u should noe your son!! once promised i dun like to fong fei gei wan la!! bcuz me myslef also dun like ppl fong fei gei.. but now u all always paksa me to do the things that i dun like... wat type of the parent are you ? fine !!! now i fong fei gei !!! cibai.. u wan me go, okla, i go.. after that please stop your fucking disturbing's nagging at me!! i dun wanna hear it anymore!! haiz~ everyday wake up also liek tis.. i rather that u all working everyday.. me alone at home everyday.. tis is my life~ my life adi tertakdir should be alone.. wat i need,i dun get ; but wat i dun wan u always force me to do so !! ask ask ask!! ask wat at the fair?! if i feel that inti taylors and nilai college is better. will u all give me 30k for a DIPLOMA? wont right? bcuz u see, tar college is not bad.. but the fees is damn cheaper lower than it u noe... ppl 7k-8k can finish diploma adi, wat for i still wasting that kind of money? it is not worth !! and if i fail some paper? do you noe that resit in those fully private college is how much? pay the fees adi pukkai enuff la.. later when i mix wit those rich guy, sure my living expenses also incraese wat, did you all think about tis? u tot it is ONLY 30K for fees so easy ar? i always think about tis think about that.. im worrying how to trying my best to save up money for you all.. no need u all waste so much money, but wat i get as reward?? the rewards is "fucking disturbing nagging every weekend"!!! tis is not wat i want, please.. understand me.. try to think from my side of view.. im not small boy anymore... i noe how to do and wat to do !!
无题,.,因为不知道要写什么
不知怎的, 知道她被人干扰之后我自己也不大高兴哦? 为什么会这样的啊? 既然都已经是过去式了,就别在想那么多吧? 虽然人家还是单身, 可是单身并不代表什么, 也不代表你有机会啊,对不对? 我总得做一次决定吧? 我有时候还真的很难选择的咯!! 哎,你想太多了你没有任何条件,现在是人家选你,不时你选人家, 清醒吧!!! 嗯,最近的烦恼突然间有增加了.. 学业问题吧? 真的让我好烦好烦咯, 明明我自己都已经决定要继续读下去的了, 怎么我老爸就老是好象看不起我那样, 总是叫我想清楚呢? 真不明白,做父母的不时应该要支持孩子的吗?怎么我老爸好象泼我冷水比支持我好多?他越叫我想好好来的话我就越模糊, 越烦恼.. 不知道我选择读下去是不是一个最好的选择~ 以前的我不是这样的! 我选择了的事情我就不会后悔,会尽全力去做好它,为何现在我做不到了? 或许吧, 失败太多次了自信心难免会有点动摇的~ 我现在做什么东西都是犹豫不决~我真的真的很希望有一天有一种工具可以不用我打华语字打得那么辛苦的..英文字我倒是bla bla bla就完成了.. 华语..有点难度..因为不常用它..还有啊!! 这两个月里面如果真的没有做任何东西让脑袋转一转的话我看我开学的时候就惨的了..不过还好有写东西可以让我做一下,可以暂时抛开烦恼专心的写完一篇文章~ 我字问!!我的学习能力不差!! 为什么我的成绩却会差到如此地步? 是因为我太爱玩了,没有认真的去做吗? 还是因为我根本不适合在这一方面打拼呢? 别人的付出就总回有收获的, 而我呢..辛辛苦苦的付出却只换来一番冷眼的对待~我sem2的时候我真的真的有努力过的!! 虽然不是很很努力,但最起码也证明了我是有决心要改过的啊?但为什么就是没有人会支持我的呢?
部落格??有用吗? 也只不过是把我的一些不开心的都写下来而已嘛,跟一个不会讲话的朋友有什么分别?就连我在msn认识到的一些不认识的朋友都会安慰安慰我一点点.. 为何部落格不会呢?突然之间觉得一切一切的东西都变得很陌生了..是因为我自己想太多了吗? 希望如此吧~ 如果我可以把这些胡思乱想的力量都放在学业上那该多好?分分钟我现在已经是top student了.. haiz
部落格??有用吗? 也只不过是把我的一些不开心的都写下来而已嘛,跟一个不会讲话的朋友有什么分别?就连我在msn认识到的一些不认识的朋友都会安慰安慰我一点点.. 为何部落格不会呢?突然之间觉得一切一切的东西都变得很陌生了..是因为我自己想太多了吗? 希望如此吧~ 如果我可以把这些胡思乱想的力量都放在学业上那该多好?分分钟我现在已经是top student了.. haiz
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
再见还能是朋友吗?
一向来以为只要双方成熟, 再见依然会是朋友. 实际上当你自己体验过, 你就会怀疑能有多少对情侣能够做到?
还记得我们说过当感情升华不再沉迷与男欢女爱的情欲时, 我俩将成为一对知心的好朋友. 然而分开后才发觉要再当朋友不是一件容易的事情,特别是当双方的认知都不一样时; 一向果断的你在感情方面亦然, 当你不再想当情侣时, 你选择断得干净利落. 对你来说一段感情的结束应该要如此断绝才不会藕断丝连; 我也认同在某些事上, 我俩已不能恢复以往般那样, 可是在一般交往上, 既然双方都想成为知心的朋友, 以往的事情有必要作出改变吗? 忽然看到你变得如此客气, 客气得如同陌生人般, 看见你不断改变以往对我的一般惯性动作, 吃早餐时也不再约我, 车子也不会再停泊在我车旁, 这些改变仿如把我仅存的记忆一页一页的撕掉, 当然要怎么做, 爱怎么样是你的权利, 可是每当你撕掉一页记忆, 我的心禁不住就撕痛一次; 你事事故意保持距离, 仿佛对你的关心和靠近会给你带来压力般, 而我相信你有好多充分的理由需要如此做; 或许你是潇洒的, 或许我是如你所说的放不下; 但是心中之痛实在无法形容, 宁愿看着你睡得如此沉静, 也胜过你醒来时决裂般的无情.
对这一切的发展, 我选择沉默, 一次又一次的失望及伤害令我对继续当好朋友的希望和期待已心死, 我已不再期待你能温柔对待, 只希望在你不尽意时不要再对我大喊大叫, 这让我感觉连个朋友都不如. 其实站在各自的立场上, 没有谁对谁错, 能不能称为好朋友就一切随缘吧...
还记得我们说过当感情升华不再沉迷与男欢女爱的情欲时, 我俩将成为一对知心的好朋友. 然而分开后才发觉要再当朋友不是一件容易的事情,特别是当双方的认知都不一样时; 一向果断的你在感情方面亦然, 当你不再想当情侣时, 你选择断得干净利落. 对你来说一段感情的结束应该要如此断绝才不会藕断丝连; 我也认同在某些事上, 我俩已不能恢复以往般那样, 可是在一般交往上, 既然双方都想成为知心的朋友, 以往的事情有必要作出改变吗? 忽然看到你变得如此客气, 客气得如同陌生人般, 看见你不断改变以往对我的一般惯性动作, 吃早餐时也不再约我, 车子也不会再停泊在我车旁, 这些改变仿如把我仅存的记忆一页一页的撕掉, 当然要怎么做, 爱怎么样是你的权利, 可是每当你撕掉一页记忆, 我的心禁不住就撕痛一次; 你事事故意保持距离, 仿佛对你的关心和靠近会给你带来压力般, 而我相信你有好多充分的理由需要如此做; 或许你是潇洒的, 或许我是如你所说的放不下; 但是心中之痛实在无法形容, 宁愿看着你睡得如此沉静, 也胜过你醒来时决裂般的无情.
对这一切的发展, 我选择沉默, 一次又一次的失望及伤害令我对继续当好朋友的希望和期待已心死, 我已不再期待你能温柔对待, 只希望在你不尽意时不要再对我大喊大叫, 这让我感觉连个朋友都不如. 其实站在各自的立场上, 没有谁对谁错, 能不能称为好朋友就一切随缘吧...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
an emo day!!
laz nite my classmate all they told me that they wanna celebrate b'day for kin on today 12pm.. so i go to join them la, shun bian fill in the withdraw form,bcuz i wanna get back my caution money rm200!! not rm20,if not i can juz give them only~ they bought 19cup cakes for kin,and 19candles!! wtf!! so many cup cakes,eat until vomit lor!!
hmm~ a lil bit not happy 2day~ haiz~ dunno how to say la,juz im not in condition.. think back the 2 sem before, i had wasted my parent as much as rm9000!!! my heart really not feeling well about tat,they earn tat few k so hard,but i juz simply waste only!! God, pls, give me some punishment~ T.T did i really like wat they said as "bai gah zai"?? haiz, tis is nto what i want also la.. other ppl all also misunderstood me, say me juz simply waste money but get nothing!! do u think tat i hope to be like this? no!! i'm not!! since i noe that i'm wrong for 2 sem adi, now juz i stop,it is not too late yet,at least can save another rm2000 for my parent!! since i neo my result until now,everyday also i havent been happy even once! everyday think about my studies, think about the past time~ why i so stupid? why i so playful? why i so "bai gah zai"?? all these question keep on appearing on my mind~ i cant stop thinking about it,not even for 1minute!! i really so so so regret now.. but regret also no use, it is adi ditakdirkam i should become like tis,den only i will insaf! but tis experience i really bought it by lot of cash $$$!!! tis lesson is too expensive..
laz time,i still remember that, juz one month before WORLD CUP football match! i had adi lose kao kao!! i lose rm1400.. i tot tat lesson adi very veyr expensive and i dun hope to repeat it again,so i dun even bet one time in world cup~ but dunno why the god always against me,when i din bet, wat i fell,wat i get : when i bet, wat i feel is wat i lose!! now some more geng!! wasted rm9000 for nothing!! i wont feel heart pain?? nope,you are wrong!! im damn very painful now!! T.T hope to cry out, but dunno why la.. forget how to cry adi~ alone at home evryday,everyday facing the wall and the computer only~ izzit tis is my life?!! i dun hope i continue stay like tis! i wanna have some challenge in my life,but everytime got halangan,sure i give up very fast.. when only i can change my bad attitude? can i do it as fast as possible? tis question,no one can answer me,except for myself!!
now is adi midnite, but im still alone here.. i dun like alone.. the lonely feel make me uncomfortable.. wat i like is, many many ppl stay together,play eat drink sleep chat and also joke together.. when i go skul, yhe most also one or 2 ppl will talk to me.. but now at home, who talk to me?? the wall?? or the ghost?? im really damn fucking tak boleh tahan adi laa!! im gonna become crazy.. see la,soon i will get depression.. haiz~~ sometime wanna find someone to chat with,also very hard.. when i hope to chat wit tat person,he/she will busy.. but when ppl wanna come chat wit me,tat is the ppl tat i dun hope to reply~ i dun like sms, dun like call, dun like msn, dun like comment on friendster!!! i juz need someone who can free to come out,yam cha with me, and try to have a talk to me~ but hor, everytime when i go out with frens,sure i forget everything, den when reach hoe,facing the wall again,den only i will resume my negative thinking~ izzit my problem?? izzit something wrong on me?? any doctor can help me??
now,cannot sleep.. everytime in tis moment, in tis time around 2am,i will remember something.. i will missing someone, who stay away from me now.. but, she adi sleep jor luu~~ so nvm la.. nite nite u all,have a sweet dream..
2moro is election day!! if i enuff age!! i wont vote for BN!! BN go die.. after the pm naik,all the price had keep on increasing, wtf they all are doing?? where our money go? every year we paid taxes,not in small sum!! but where it go har?? u u wanna noe the answer? all go into the menteri menteri de pocket jor laa!!! all those fucker keep on rasuah rasuah!! juz simply spending our money.. petrol price increase!! when the petroleum price in international increase, our PETRONAS also is gonna get more profit wat? so they should use tat extra profit to cover back the subsidies for petrol la!! not use the extra income for rasuah!!! and juz keep onlet the petrol price increase!! did them think for us? NO!! they never do tat!! and it is also no more open tender for those tender job!! isn't it very damn fucking UNFAIR for us as chinese? so all the ppl ,pls!! NO VOTE FOR BN....
hmm~ a lil bit not happy 2day~ haiz~ dunno how to say la,juz im not in condition.. think back the 2 sem before, i had wasted my parent as much as rm9000!!! my heart really not feeling well about tat,they earn tat few k so hard,but i juz simply waste only!! God, pls, give me some punishment~ T.T did i really like wat they said as "bai gah zai"?? haiz, tis is nto what i want also la.. other ppl all also misunderstood me, say me juz simply waste money but get nothing!! do u think tat i hope to be like this? no!! i'm not!! since i noe that i'm wrong for 2 sem adi, now juz i stop,it is not too late yet,at least can save another rm2000 for my parent!! since i neo my result until now,everyday also i havent been happy even once! everyday think about my studies, think about the past time~ why i so stupid? why i so playful? why i so "bai gah zai"?? all these question keep on appearing on my mind~ i cant stop thinking about it,not even for 1minute!! i really so so so regret now.. but regret also no use, it is adi ditakdirkam i should become like tis,den only i will insaf! but tis experience i really bought it by lot of cash $$$!!! tis lesson is too expensive..
laz time,i still remember that, juz one month before WORLD CUP football match! i had adi lose kao kao!! i lose rm1400.. i tot tat lesson adi very veyr expensive and i dun hope to repeat it again,so i dun even bet one time in world cup~ but dunno why the god always against me,when i din bet, wat i fell,wat i get : when i bet, wat i feel is wat i lose!! now some more geng!! wasted rm9000 for nothing!! i wont feel heart pain?? nope,you are wrong!! im damn very painful now!! T.T hope to cry out, but dunno why la.. forget how to cry adi~ alone at home evryday,everyday facing the wall and the computer only~ izzit tis is my life?!! i dun hope i continue stay like tis! i wanna have some challenge in my life,but everytime got halangan,sure i give up very fast.. when only i can change my bad attitude? can i do it as fast as possible? tis question,no one can answer me,except for myself!!
now is adi midnite, but im still alone here.. i dun like alone.. the lonely feel make me uncomfortable.. wat i like is, many many ppl stay together,play eat drink sleep chat and also joke together.. when i go skul, yhe most also one or 2 ppl will talk to me.. but now at home, who talk to me?? the wall?? or the ghost?? im really damn fucking tak boleh tahan adi laa!! im gonna become crazy.. see la,soon i will get depression.. haiz~~ sometime wanna find someone to chat with,also very hard.. when i hope to chat wit tat person,he/she will busy.. but when ppl wanna come chat wit me,tat is the ppl tat i dun hope to reply~ i dun like sms, dun like call, dun like msn, dun like comment on friendster!!! i juz need someone who can free to come out,yam cha with me, and try to have a talk to me~ but hor, everytime when i go out with frens,sure i forget everything, den when reach hoe,facing the wall again,den only i will resume my negative thinking~ izzit my problem?? izzit something wrong on me?? any doctor can help me??
now,cannot sleep.. everytime in tis moment, in tis time around 2am,i will remember something.. i will missing someone, who stay away from me now.. but, she adi sleep jor luu~~ so nvm la.. nite nite u all,have a sweet dream..
2moro is election day!! if i enuff age!! i wont vote for BN!! BN go die.. after the pm naik,all the price had keep on increasing, wtf they all are doing?? where our money go? every year we paid taxes,not in small sum!! but where it go har?? u u wanna noe the answer? all go into the menteri menteri de pocket jor laa!!! all those fucker keep on rasuah rasuah!! juz simply spending our money.. petrol price increase!! when the petroleum price in international increase, our PETRONAS also is gonna get more profit wat? so they should use tat extra profit to cover back the subsidies for petrol la!! not use the extra income for rasuah!!! and juz keep onlet the petrol price increase!! did them think for us? NO!! they never do tat!! and it is also no more open tender for those tender job!! isn't it very damn fucking UNFAIR for us as chinese? so all the ppl ,pls!! NO VOTE FOR BN....
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
appreciate
today is a memorable day for me and all my fellow frens at utar.. after class today they all plan to belanja me sing k at sunway.. thx you guys for the farewell celebration!! but it is really hard to leave u all,if can.. or i got 2nd best choice, i wont choose to leave.. i think yuan ben can go back with they all wan.. but they really too late to go back, so better i went back early bcuz i have to waste almost 2hours to reach my home.. edward,gintee ; kin, fai lin ; evan,yong zhang ; yeeping,lester and lastly is Mr Johnson chai~~ thx!!!! and also.. i have to thx to May bcuz of tat little monkey~ haiz, it is the only one present i get since i start study at 28/5/07 until now.. dun worry,i wont work for tis 2months bcuz my dad said dun get the job tat finish work at 10pm de,bcuz he got no time to fetch me back~ so i got lot of time to buy things for you all.. and i still will be there for applying get back my deposit.. den finish my procedures to stop a utar,den i wont be student there anymore..
i really feel so sad to leave.. but dunno why i juz cannot cry it out.. mayb, bcuz i had adi numb for these kind of things gua? hmm~ i will forever miss you all !! but dun worry sonn we will be meet again in Setapak when May intake..
and another things is, May,dunno wat to say to you..i really got lot of lot of things to tell u but wait la, wait till got free time, i will call you ^^ bcuz i scare if i disturb u doing assignment.. tis sem is short sem,so all the assignment also quite a hurry, work hard and do your best!! for all of my frens, add oil ya!! And for e vonne,dun be sad or unhappy anymore la,soon u will be better when u go to kampar~ try your best to put off the "fire" in your heart.. k?
i really feel so sad to leave.. but dunno why i juz cannot cry it out.. mayb, bcuz i had adi numb for these kind of things gua? hmm~ i will forever miss you all !! but dun worry sonn we will be meet again in Setapak when May intake..
and another things is, May,dunno wat to say to you..i really got lot of lot of things to tell u but wait la, wait till got free time, i will call you ^^ bcuz i scare if i disturb u doing assignment.. tis sem is short sem,so all the assignment also quite a hurry, work hard and do your best!! for all of my frens, add oil ya!! And for e vonne,dun be sad or unhappy anymore la,soon u will be better when u go to kampar~ try your best to put off the "fire" in your heart.. k?
finall,2day i had done my decision.. but cannot say as today la,is Sunday~ but 2day,i late late still cannot sleep.. dunno why, im waiting for someone to on9 on msn.. finally i can wait for her to on9.. quite happy at 1st.. but later on.. i feel tat i cannot control myself.. my tears start to drop out..i really bu she de to leave utar,i love my frens,all of them!! especially for her!! but wat to do? i MUST leave also.. my result too bad to continue.. if study also juz wasting time..May,if can,i also dun wan to stop.. i rather to see u 5more weeks before u graduated.. but the problem is,the fees is not mine~ my parent had to decide it for me..if i got money,sure!! 10000% sure i will continue to study for sem3..
actually utar for me is nothing,juz dunno why.. i had adi invest too much "gan qing" inside..
my smart monkey fren-choe kin
wuliao fren-lester, Mr Mak
the 3gals in my class-evan,fai lin,yeeping
smoker gang-me,gab,johnson,sassi
designer group-yong zhang,sye ping
crazy math group-bernard,kar yien
crazy physician-jack
diam diam group-john,sarala,shiyamala,F²
siao siao M.C gang-wei yoke,edward... i think thats all la..
if someone's name not here,pls remind me to add in.. sry bcuz,memory not good enuff to remember so many names.. sure la, last but not least,some other class de fren, jennifer,e vonne,malz... lot of them la.. hope tat our friendship can be last long.. especially for you here,May! wat i want,is not juz simply friendship so simple..
haih,now is adi 4/3/08 jor.. few more hours,i have to wake up to skul, adn cry here cry there.. someone ask for sing k to farewell with me!! wtf,later sore throat how? see doctor aint free!!
haiz~ dun tell me inetrnet down again.. i heard from Gab,few days ago internet down for whole nite~
but anyways,thx for you guys really gave me lot of happiness, craziness, shitness.. watever la!! i will keep it in my heart forever and wont forget~ it is my honor to have all these things from u all.. i cant even forget wat the happy moment we pass theough together.. thx TD13.. all fellows classmate.. lovest lecturer.. haiya! wataver la, my english not really good,so many someone may feel tat i juz simply bla bla bla here only.. but it is one of teh way tat i shout out something in my heart,to be shared with you all.. May, juz wanna say it out here.. bcuz i still not dare to tell u tis face to face.. bcuz u ahvent give me any respons~ I LOVE YOU,May.... its true from the bottom of my heart...
actually utar for me is nothing,juz dunno why.. i had adi invest too much "gan qing" inside..
my smart monkey fren-choe kin
wuliao fren-lester, Mr Mak
the 3gals in my class-evan,fai lin,yeeping
smoker gang-me,gab,johnson,sassi
designer group-yong zhang,sye ping
crazy math group-bernard,kar yien
crazy physician-jack
diam diam group-john,sarala,shiyamala,F²
siao siao M.C gang-wei yoke,edward... i think thats all la..
if someone's name not here,pls remind me to add in.. sry bcuz,memory not good enuff to remember so many names.. sure la, last but not least,some other class de fren, jennifer,e vonne,malz... lot of them la.. hope tat our friendship can be last long.. especially for you here,May! wat i want,is not juz simply friendship so simple..
haih,now is adi 4/3/08 jor.. few more hours,i have to wake up to skul, adn cry here cry there.. someone ask for sing k to farewell with me!! wtf,later sore throat how? see doctor aint free!!
haiz~ dun tell me inetrnet down again.. i heard from Gab,few days ago internet down for whole nite~
but anyways,thx for you guys really gave me lot of happiness, craziness, shitness.. watever la!! i will keep it in my heart forever and wont forget~ it is my honor to have all these things from u all.. i cant even forget wat the happy moment we pass theough together.. thx TD13.. all fellows classmate.. lovest lecturer.. haiya! wataver la, my english not really good,so many someone may feel tat i juz simply bla bla bla here only.. but it is one of teh way tat i shout out something in my heart,to be shared with you all.. May, juz wanna say it out here.. bcuz i still not dare to tell u tis face to face.. bcuz u ahvent give me any respons~ I LOVE YOU,May.... its true from the bottom of my heart...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
boring sunday~
actually i wanna discuss my studies with my parent last nite de.. but at noon ping hao call me, ask me to go time square with him den i said ok lor.. and den we play daytona!! yea!! luckiyl our technique not very bad also la.. still can get 1st and 2nd and 3rd place.. tat fucker always bang us,liek we kad killed his mum like tat!! &%^$#WTF#*(@
den i tot will back home on 6pm like tat,den after eat can discuss about it la.. but den later ping hao tell me,he said his hosue got " house warming" ask me to join, den i feel like ok only den i ma agree with him lor.. after TS straight back his house~ den we go buy kfc la, fetch his fren la.. haha!! finally,time can eat, but we only take one piece of chicken only,den other things all finish jor~ haiz~ nvm nvm.. hahaha,ping hao also nto full enuff!! den we went into his room to play.. they relly crazy man!! zha you zha him.. zha here zha there,, dangerous game leh~ luckily i din involve myself into it.. if not, cant imagine xD
den some of them crazy playing PS@ at his room, play until finger also hurt liao.. crazy meh~!!
hehe and den finally, when some of them gonna fall sleep,all also boring adi.. den some one called for 3rd round yam cha!! yes!! finally, can go out adi.. hahaha~ den we went for yam cha la, talk talk something bad, something ham sup!! buy condom la, tis la tat la.. yor~~ really pui fuk them!! can talk till so loud in open space mamak.. and den 3.30am like tat only i reach home.. den fast fast on9 play play a while around 5am only sleep.. bcuz when i gonna sleep tat time eunice find me,say wanna sms with me.. den ma teman her until i fall sleep =.=
haiz!! wat a boring sunday staying at home for nothing.. wanna sms also lazy, wanna do the webpage design also dunno hwo to do!! almost wanan break my computer liao laa!!!! Grr! i cannot remember how was the coding leh!!!!! i like tis kind of things, so pls!! let me work hard on it and at least i get something in 3rd sem, not wasted like tat only.. so sad,i sleep till almost 2pm only wake up, too tired adi laz nite~ later nite still ahve to talk someting with my parent,, may the god blessing me dun kena scold too much.. and keep me in cool position, i dun hope to quarrel again with them~
den i tot will back home on 6pm like tat,den after eat can discuss about it la.. but den later ping hao tell me,he said his hosue got " house warming" ask me to join, den i feel like ok only den i ma agree with him lor.. after TS straight back his house~ den we go buy kfc la, fetch his fren la.. haha!! finally,time can eat, but we only take one piece of chicken only,den other things all finish jor~ haiz~ nvm nvm.. hahaha,ping hao also nto full enuff!! den we went into his room to play.. they relly crazy man!! zha you zha him.. zha here zha there,, dangerous game leh~ luckily i din involve myself into it.. if not, cant imagine xD
den some of them crazy playing PS@ at his room, play until finger also hurt liao.. crazy meh~!!
hehe and den finally, when some of them gonna fall sleep,all also boring adi.. den some one called for 3rd round yam cha!! yes!! finally, can go out adi.. hahaha~ den we went for yam cha la, talk talk something bad, something ham sup!! buy condom la, tis la tat la.. yor~~ really pui fuk them!! can talk till so loud in open space mamak.. and den 3.30am like tat only i reach home.. den fast fast on9 play play a while around 5am only sleep.. bcuz when i gonna sleep tat time eunice find me,say wanna sms with me.. den ma teman her until i fall sleep =.=
haiz!! wat a boring sunday staying at home for nothing.. wanna sms also lazy, wanna do the webpage design also dunno hwo to do!! almost wanan break my computer liao laa!!!! Grr! i cannot remember how was the coding leh!!!!! i like tis kind of things, so pls!! let me work hard on it and at least i get something in 3rd sem, not wasted like tat only.. so sad,i sleep till almost 2pm only wake up, too tired adi laz nite~ later nite still ahve to talk someting with my parent,, may the god blessing me dun kena scold too much.. and keep me in cool position, i dun hope to quarrel again with them~
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