laz nite my classmate all they told me that they wanna celebrate b'day for kin on today 12pm.. so i go to join them la, shun bian fill in the withdraw form,bcuz i wanna get back my caution money rm200!! not rm20,if not i can juz give them only~ they bought 19cup cakes for kin,and 19candles!! wtf!! so many cup cakes,eat until vomit lor!!
hmm~ a lil bit not happy 2day~ haiz~ dunno how to say la,juz im not in condition.. think back the 2 sem before, i had wasted my parent as much as rm9000!!! my heart really not feeling well about tat,they earn tat few k so hard,but i juz simply waste only!! God, pls, give me some punishment~ T.T did i really like wat they said as "bai gah zai"?? haiz, tis is nto what i want also la.. other ppl all also misunderstood me, say me juz simply waste money but get nothing!! do u think tat i hope to be like this? no!! i'm not!! since i noe that i'm wrong for 2 sem adi, now juz i stop,it is not too late yet,at least can save another rm2000 for my parent!! since i neo my result until now,everyday also i havent been happy even once! everyday think about my studies, think about the past time~ why i so stupid? why i so playful? why i so "bai gah zai"?? all these question keep on appearing on my mind~ i cant stop thinking about it,not even for 1minute!! i really so so so regret now.. but regret also no use, it is adi ditakdirkam i should become like tis,den only i will insaf! but tis experience i really bought it by lot of cash $$$!!! tis lesson is too expensive..
laz time,i still remember that, juz one month before WORLD CUP football match! i had adi lose kao kao!! i lose rm1400.. i tot tat lesson adi very veyr expensive and i dun hope to repeat it again,so i dun even bet one time in world cup~ but dunno why the god always against me,when i din bet, wat i fell,wat i get : when i bet, wat i feel is wat i lose!! now some more geng!! wasted rm9000 for nothing!! i wont feel heart pain?? nope,you are wrong!! im damn very painful now!! T.T hope to cry out, but dunno why la.. forget how to cry adi~ alone at home evryday,everyday facing the wall and the computer only~ izzit tis is my life?!! i dun hope i continue stay like tis! i wanna have some challenge in my life,but everytime got halangan,sure i give up very fast.. when only i can change my bad attitude? can i do it as fast as possible? tis question,no one can answer me,except for myself!!
now is adi midnite, but im still alone here.. i dun like alone.. the lonely feel make me uncomfortable.. wat i like is, many many ppl stay together,play eat drink sleep chat and also joke together.. when i go skul, yhe most also one or 2 ppl will talk to me.. but now at home, who talk to me?? the wall?? or the ghost?? im really damn fucking tak boleh tahan adi laa!! im gonna become crazy.. see la,soon i will get depression.. haiz~~ sometime wanna find someone to chat with,also very hard.. when i hope to chat wit tat person,he/she will busy.. but when ppl wanna come chat wit me,tat is the ppl tat i dun hope to reply~ i dun like sms, dun like call, dun like msn, dun like comment on friendster!!! i juz need someone who can free to come out,yam cha with me, and try to have a talk to me~ but hor, everytime when i go out with frens,sure i forget everything, den when reach hoe,facing the wall again,den only i will resume my negative thinking~ izzit my problem?? izzit something wrong on me?? any doctor can help me??
now,cannot sleep.. everytime in tis moment, in tis time around 2am,i will remember something.. i will missing someone, who stay away from me now.. but, she adi sleep jor luu~~ so nvm la.. nite nite u all,have a sweet dream..
2moro is election day!! if i enuff age!! i wont vote for BN!! BN go die.. after the pm naik,all the price had keep on increasing, wtf they all are doing?? where our money go? every year we paid taxes,not in small sum!! but where it go har?? u u wanna noe the answer? all go into the menteri menteri de pocket jor laa!!! all those fucker keep on rasuah rasuah!! juz simply spending our money.. petrol price increase!! when the petroleum price in international increase, our PETRONAS also is gonna get more profit wat? so they should use tat extra profit to cover back the subsidies for petrol la!! not use the extra income for rasuah!!! and juz keep onlet the petrol price increase!! did them think for us? NO!! they never do tat!! and it is also no more open tender for those tender job!! isn't it very damn fucking UNFAIR for us as chinese? so all the ppl ,pls!! NO VOTE FOR BN....
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