genting trip on 28 & 29/4/08

Me and Lester

YeePing, Fai Lin, Evan, Kin

Fai Lin, Evan, YeePing, Lester on plane(up to down)

pity Kin and fai lin, wanna play roller coaster but temporary closed~

kin so wuliao until push Evan swing here and there,wanna take photo also hard

under my expectation...

just now kin call me wake me up adi~ den i call to my father.. he seems like noe everything about me, he disappointed..and sad.. i can feel that.. This is bcuz i never told them last nite and now only call tot hem, feel like not respect them at all.. but, i got my own reason why i din tell them last nite u noe!! 1st, when we really decide to go genting that time my father adi sleep liao, only my mum still nag about me.. but u should noe wat, when mama is arguing wit you, she impossible will agree that let u go play de la, rite? thats why i din tell her last nite..
now i really dunno wat to do.. my parent always give me lot of pressure.. wanna go play also cannot happy happy go~ my father say me "ppl finish foundation, go enjoy, u finish wat? u finish nothing!! and ppl got study hard den go play go relax nvm, u? u do wat? u got study properly or not?" tis sentence is really make me hurt.. i hurt them bcuz din tell them last nite, so now he hurt me back, its fair !! but since he always give me tis kind of invisible pressure im gonna become crazy in one day. haiz~ so early jiu wake up adi.. wanna prepare to go liao.. but havent call mama yet,s he din pick up my phone, mayb she is busy now~ later call her again~ i really dunno why.. kin is also human, me also human.. his parent is such a reasonable person, but my mum?! i not say my parent not reasonable.. i noe i also got fault in tis case.. juz is, why they must make the condition until like tis? got one of my fren, her relation wit her family member is all like fren like tat.. tis is wat i want!! but i know, it will never be possible in my family.. when every person treat each other like fren, wat the hell problem also can say out to share la.. but me? cannot!! everything i have to settle by myself 1st..if not my parent will say i always make trouble to them~ really sad.. really unhappy in tis moment~ T.T

wat should i do?

2moro morning, i have to go Genting.. hopefully i can go la.. but go there need spend money also.. i got no money.. have to ask from parent.. but i noe when i ask sure they wont let de.. but u all have to think from my side.. since CNY until now i everyday sit at home only~ i nothing to do.. i really hope to go out a while walk walk play play to release stress a bit.. who said stay at home no stress de? do u noe wat is depression means?? i noe my parent wan me to be save.. but tis kind of money really cannot save de lor.. or else their son will become how, they will never noe.. u never try to be at home everyday doing nothing no place to go.. den u will never noe wat my feeling now.. 4 months stay at home.. is 4months!! not 4weeks.. some even said, 4weeks also cannot stand adi.. u noe wat my feeling in tis 4 months? haiz~ juz now quarrel a bit wit my mum,bcuz of some reason that i cant post here.. it may become a sensitive topic.. later all ppl come kill me~ 2moro i will wake up early than call to my father den only call to my mum.. some time, they said me, is juz to inform them only, never ask them for permission.. but u noe, those things can avoid wan, i will avoid myself and never told them.. juz wat i really want, i only tell them.. i dun like to argue wit them so much.. i also noe they earn money very hard.. but please, tis is only every sem i go out one time~ i noe sure they will nag nag nag me say say say me and scold scold scold me on phone wan~ haih~ i juz need a bit money only, mayb 100, or 150.. i noe is not a big amount, but also they pain bcuz i spend too much..
but here la, i list down my activities.. agak agak la.. i let u all comment on me, izzit my spending really high, if u all mostly say yes, i accept the fact!! now my pocket money is around 40 a week.. everything i have to pay myself exclude of petrol.. even when i go out eat, 50cen parking also i paid, i go out shopping wit frens, parking rm10 also i paid.. but some time is share la.. den u all see la, except from my pocket money, i never ask any extra from them~ how much they give me i juz accept only.. my pocket money from 20 per day drop until 40 a week !!! how should i survive? one meal adi cost me rm6.. everyday juz can save rm2~ some time at nite go yam cha leh, yam cha one time spend rm4.. my 2days saving gone adi~ den u all say lor.. izzit my spending really too high??
dunno how to open my mouth to them 2moro.. they are my parent, i dun wan they got hard feeling on me bcuz feel like i never respect them.. but me adi grown up, i noe to decide my own things, not really serious problem i no need ma fan them.. tis is also one my my way to reduce their worryness on me~ if i tell them everything liek when i small, sure they everyday cannot sleep well cannot eat well liao de~ izzit wrong i do like tat? i dunno.. GOD will noe~ im gonna moving out from my own house soon~ hopefully it will really can help to fix my problem between me and my parents bah~i dun wan tis to continue like tat~

am i wrong??

it is the 1st time i have a hot coffee in front of me.. normally, all is juz ice drinks.. mayb i need that aroma to numb myself.. now i really drink coffee also wanna mabuk d, dunno why.. cannot see clear, read clear and type clear.. i rewind back my memories.. i think back wat i had done in tis almost 19years of my life.. feeling like i got nothing!! except for wasting time..

since i small, i was very confident to myself.. i think that i can afford to treat all my fren fair and equal.. but at last i cant do it.. now only i noe, all the while long i noe xin yi, i had hurt her a lot.. she is my sister.. she always treat me as her bro but i seems like never care about her~ did i really do wrong? YES, YOU ARE!! but, i really find lot of excuses for her.. i always say "sorry" until she also numb for my "sorry" adi.. she adi too disappointed on me, but luckily she still treat me as her brother.. mayb, our relationship wont be as good as before.. but at least i noe.. i got such a good de sister bcuz im the eldest in family.. i can feel someone sayang me, care for me~ i hate those who break promise, but i always break promise to her~ some time cannot say as break promise la, juz forget adi.. mayb, i din put her in the important place inside my heart.. since now i noe wat is my kriptonite (weakness), i should take tis chance before i start study to correct it.. before it is too late.. here, i wanna tell all my fren that, I APPRECIATE OUR RELATIONSHIP AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP IT AS LONG AS I CAN!!! i feel very sorry to my fren that i might hurt u all before.. here comes i will say a "sorry" to all of you.. forgive ma~ i hope time can reverse back to let me correct wat i had did wrong in pass time.. or at least, stop at tis moment, gimme some time to replace back all my promise to you all.. some times, not i dun wanna done my promise, is, im really a very forgetful person.. some time i dun even remember that i had promise something except that u remind me.. thats all for today.. anyone got any view. any point, any "yi jian", wanna shoot me kao kao, or sayang me more.. or help me to change my attitude, juz leave me a comment.. and i will try to fix the problem according to you all de opinion..

HATE PPL FONG FEI GEI !! WTF!!

niama cibai !!! i really damn fucking beh song now!! i wanna go clubbing den i date someone go wit me lor, den suddenly "someone" said all dun wan go, delay to 19/4 laa!! i had promised to ppl that 12 i may be there, den since they all agreed to go on 19, oklor den i decide to delay one week, den feel so sorry to my fren there, Simon~ bcuz always fong him fei gei.. den that time when 4/4/08 we celebrate bday for "someone", all say until like GOD, SURE GO, SURE WAN LA.. den later on i decide adi lor, make a post there to be 19/4 den everyone was replying my post.. and now !! someone tell me that he dun wanna go!! that fellar din even msg me or call me to say that he dun wan go, juz ask another ppl to tell me, wtf tis kind of ppl?! tis is called as fren?? respect?? at least give me a msg by HIMSELF laa cibai.. never inform, and never keep promise.. that day Simon ask me either wanna call for reservation or not la, den luckily i din accept his idea, if not who the hell gonna pay me back for the liquor and seats?!! and his b'day is fall on tis satirday.. they adi planned to go on saturday nite so i feeling happy lor, finally no need fong fei gei d.. den, manatau !!! suddenly someone ask me izzit friday nite i was free? from that moment i noe sure something happen adi wan !! it is really that!! they gonna cancel plan!! so for the damn fuckign sure is!! tis time his bday or wat the fuck else also I WONT JOIN.. i hate ppl who not keep their promise and make me have to fong fei gei again and again !! i dun care of them adi now, msg me or even call me also i wont answer !! i hate them.. i rather find some of my utar frens go it is far more better, at least ppl not sure will say not sure.. and when they say yes, they will keep promise !!! DON EVEN U ALL DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!! OR WE WONT BE FREN ANYMORE!! DUN FONG FEI GEI !!! KEEP YOUR PROMISE!!!

and juz now before my mum sleep.. i tell her that i need money to pay for rental at wansa maju, ask her to take out some cash for me.. den u noe wat she ask?
"need so much money ar?2months deposit + one month rental?"
"need to pay 2months deposit wan ar? one month cannot meh?"
"the booking fees ppl will juz give 100 or 50 la, they not sure they will rent,wat for give so much, u all so stupid give one month rental?"
and den im really damn fucking angry adi, seems like juz not believe me and im going to spend all of the money like that!! that money is not im going to spend for my own points !! i really feel like fucking emo juz now and feeling pissed off.. some time i really feel like dun like to stay at my house at all.. so sad staying here, pressure a lot, nagging a lot, question a lot... wat the fuck also a lot, juz pocket money a less !!!

心情沉重的一天

拜五早上一早我就出门去了, 原本打算要去找lester帮他庆祝生日的, 但是我就想到有些事情需要我完成, 就只好早点出门咯,去金河啦,time square啦,lowyat啦,跑了一圈才在去PJ找他们.
当天的心情的确还不错的啦, 因为难得有机会可以离开家里到外面去透透气. 之后到了学校哪儿就和他们一起上课咯, 起初那老师还不介意我进班的,之后我一直讲话讲话就把她给若脑了, 她就直接的"shoot"了我们, 说真的那时候还真的蛮不双她一下的咯!! 最讨厌人家要骂不骂那样但是又要将一些东西来给你自己发觉.. 要嘛就干脆讲我拉, 干嘛要转个弯? 怕我承受不起啊?

只后就和他们都一起去sunway打了一转.. 一直都在帮lester找适合他的礼物.. 原本可以买双鞋子给他可是好可是就是没有了他的尺码..想买来送给他都不能了咯..抱歉耶~ 好不容易终于熬到晚餐时间了, 最可悲的就是我们连吃饭都要跑好一段距离才能到达.. 不过着也不要紧吧, 开心就好咯.. 之后我们在火锅店那儿还差点真的搞得天翻地覆.. lester就好象小孩子般玩火,可是他还不知道别人都在望着他, 哈哈, 我们告诉他的时候他还吓到一下咯.. 可悲~ T.T
当天晚上还真的是无聊至极点了!! 我们一群人都跑到附近的一个小小公园去谈天说地,一直想等荣章的到来,可是偏偏的等他却不来,我们决定了要去old town coffee shop的时候就偏偏遇到了他的车, 那时候他有被吓倒了~ 哈哈, 懒得解释了因为当天有在的人都知道发生了什么事情.. 之后我们到MC附近的一个24小时KFC那儿帮lester庆祝.. 他们那群人还真的是像个大小孩一样玩, 你弄我我弄你都爽的咯?真的不知道该怎么去形容他们了.. 哎......................................

那个晚上还真的是我们最疯狂大一个夜晚.. 我们大家竟然都没有睡觉一直谈天到隔天早上七点了才甘愿各自离去.. 说真的如果不是将来还可以住在同一屋檐下的话,那次的聚会可真的是最后一次的聚会了..因为他家都在foundation之中毕业了, 唯独我一个人是两手空空,一事无成的..他们大家都还拿到相当不错以下的成绩, 还真欣慰有一群既那么疯狂,有那么好玩的朋友.. 那天我们都发表了我们人生中最多的意见, 他们好几个人联合对付我?!!! T.T 可怜我啊,被欺负了~ 不过不要紧吧, 他们的批评都是为了我好, 我会接受的..我会试着看改变我自己,希望我的梦不会在破碎,不会再次的失望吧?转眼我有浪费了两个月的时间了,感觉上我一无所有.. 但最起码我还有一群可靠的朋友吧,谢谢你们了咯..不知道是否因为我没有睡觉的关系,在回家路上的巴士上我重复又重复的睡找了,好在没有睡过站,不然的话还真的有的我受了,要走路回家.. 而且今天的心情是特别的低落和沉重.. 一回家就躺下呼呼大睡了.. 虽然很累,可是我现在都还没有睡觉,不是我死顶.. 是我睡不着!!
晚上的时候和爸爸妈妈他们去吃crab了, 还真不错可是价钱方面就贵了点..难得可以有机会真的大家都坐下来一起吃顿饭~ 好闷的一个夜晚~ 好冷, 是因为我孤单的关系吗?

28/5/2008, 将会是我人生的一个转折点, 历史得重新改写了!! 以往的事情都将会被密封起来,永远就只可以怀念而不能向往!! 我要努力好好的做好我自己的本份,再不会让你们日夜的担心我了, 放心吧..我会想的了.. 加油吧, 伟雄.. ^^ 还有咯,有写事情我都不知道该不该说出来, 不然的话我的心里又多了一个包袱了.. 可是说了出来分分钟连朋友都做不成的哦? 而且我已经失败到我怕了.. 我不想再次面对失败的打击~

story time ^^

ahhahaha!! gintee sure u will very happy bcuz u got story to read jor !!
told adi la, is story time,sure talking something past wat~ since saturday - 29/3 i go back ipoh to ching ming on sunday~ damn it!! afternoon damn hot lor,luckily when im driving back on the way still got rain la,cloudy la,if not sure i become barbecued bear!! wtf is tis weather?! some time whole day raining some time whole day cant even see one drop of water?! tis kind of weather let ppl easy fall sick, im one of the example.. a bit fewer few days ago,but now nothing d.. hmm, my 3rd uncle had took his camry!! he adi booked it before CNY.. walao,got cheap camry dun wan he wan the most expensive wan.. pui fuk!! but nvm la, ppl is big boss maa.. boss is affordable la.. but me? even thought i need a proton also have to think 2000times.. izzit my parent afford for it? not like him, wat they wan juz go ahead.. good good, my dream is almost same like that la, wat i want, no need think even once, straight can buy it~ haha,dunno when only tis dream can come true into my life~

tell u all la, at ipoh really suckx, although got lot of cousins laa... but den we all also computer kaki, cant live even one day if without computer.. so after we took dinner and watch a drama called as "tai gik", one of my cousin bro decide adi, haha!! he is the one who ask we go CC!! vcuz it is really too bored stay at home some more we all kaki malam, cant sleep so early.. so we go play in IMAX near the 24hours McDonald near gunung rapat~ play CS i lose to them, play starcraft also i lose tot hem.. i really useless la to live int eh world!! study cannot, play also cannot~ wat else i can be? finally, someone get 3 calls from his dad, and den we decided to go back lor, but when we pay that time only we realize that time adi almost 1am.. !!!! so shock no wonder got call laa... i tot juz around 12 only.... huh~ den reach home kena nag nag abit~ den all ppl also sleep adi we have to sleep also lor.... but u noe la, i cant sleep before 2am, so i play sms...... until some insects fall down juz right beside my head!! woow!! so damn terkejut, fast fast jump up and chase it away from me,den got dog outside keep on wuuwuuwuu~ so scary den i slowly slowly fall sleep lor.. the next day have to wake up early to go baai baai my grandpa~

story continue when sunday... i woke around 720am, damn not enuff sleep but mei ban fa laa.. have to be awake also.. den later go out eat breakfast, we found that almost every shop also din open,mayb bcuz is ching ming la,big festival maa.. after ate, den go back popo house waiting for them to be prepared.. den start journey around 945 am... woooh!! damn far that place.. but luckily no need i drive, haha!! very very vry hot that day.. we all who going also full with sweat after baai baai~ tis is the only 1st time we all attend for it.. normally someone will not going de,, haha.. tis time is great.. some stupid feller throw the fire cracker into the steel barrel that ppl use to burn things.. den BOOM!!! damn !! all the dirty things and dust fly every where.. denw ee all shoot that stupid asshole that brainless!! wanna play go other place to play la.. some more wanna make all the places become dirty !!! diuu him.. tot himself very yeng ar? dun let me next year boom u back !!
afterward we all go back lor... on the way my parent drop by to buy pamelo!! ^^ nice to eat laa.. rm8 per biji only.. okla,not very expensive~ after lunch at popo house damn hot.. we wanan go cafe again but parent keep on say no,wanna go back adi.. den have to guai guai stay home.,.. drinking coconut water~ haiz.. finally around 4pm we can go back kl liao.. on the way keep on jam jam jam and rain rain rain~ im not driver so i can sleep.. xD it takes me 3hours plus to reach my home while normally juz need around 2hours and 45 minutes.. balik rumah sure 1st time go sleep wan laa!!! my own bed,damn comfortable sleep on it ^^ and monday i overslept until 130pm only wake up!! wat a real pig!! almost forget go fetch my bro from skul at 145pm.. rushing to wake up brush teeth.. den go the mines buy games~ cibai that fellar.. that game need serial number~ 2moro i go blame and fuck him up !!!

END..............................

hah, now is really the time for me to sleep adi la, not enuff sleep for 2 nights adi, have to replace it back to normal... 2day i whole day sit in front computer fixing up the games~ haih, tired T.T and lonely laa!! every day wake up juz face the same things.. i wanna go gai gai !!!!! someone go with me??