countdown nite?

today will be the first countdown nite that i have to celebrate it alone~
in past few years since im form5, every year countdown also i wont be alone~
but this year seems like excepted lor~ alone sitting at home, alone facing computer~
doing nothing thinking something bad make me no mood gonna do revision~
my parents both not at home while no frens seems free to out with me also~
sad and dark nite for me

my old days? where izzit?

recently quite free during midnite bcuz no mood wanna to study much so just stop after stuydy about one hour~ until now also i havent finish anyone of the subject yet, so? pray hard la my fren.

tis few days, log in to my both old and new friendster account, see back all those photo i had posted up previously during my old days.. im really fucking deeply miss those days, with all my fellow frens, either utarians or my NS frens~ we all having a great time during the one year period after we finish NS! tat time our Mr Zellent havent go overseas yet, all of us still relax, sitting there drinking tea quite often, gathering together quite often~ but now? i did really miss him much~

secondly, all my previous UTAR's fren and classmate or skulmate~ long time never see u all.. except lah for my housemate~ i see them everyday.. i miss the nite we having BBQ in the PJ dunno wat wat park~ some more wine is supplied~ but they all kaki say not enuff~ den decide to bought some more extra HEINEKEN.. every bottle for everyone.. its fun, we having great time on tat nite~ all drunken, happy until dunno how to say~ but now? everyone of us just busy busy and busy with their owk skul's works.. degree are mayb really bit more tension than I'm now..

i feel that me myself, have really getting a very big changes from I'm 18 until now I'm 20~ a good boy become a bad guy, a hardworking and willing to learn's boy become a lazy guy now~ what had caused me have tat kind of changes? no one gonna knew it~ i will make it as a secret for myself.. at least i have one secret, for only myself.. see back my foundation times in Utar when year of 2007.. i have wasted my own time for one year, wasted my parents hard earn money as much as 10k.. but i din get back anything except than sad and disappointed for my parents~ i really feel sad and sorry about tat and i promised now no matter how hard, im gonna get graduated on time, and getting a degree in future! i wont let myself to become useless wood anymore fro now onwards!! i wanna be a useful human, have some contribution for my own family~ my parents both are getting older~ so, the burden of taking care of both my brother and sister is gonna to fall on me~ so, i must get myself AWAKE all the time!!

but now, so fast, another final exam is coming, wat the fuck im still doing here? thinking all the noncense?? brain keep on turning but not about studies~ wat la me!! tis critical timing i think all those stuffs~ really hope to have a vacation just right after i finish my exam~ i really hope my maths1 can get a pass tis time~ or else, even i get 4 flat also im not happy~ but then, another bad news is i have to start searching for QS consultant company or contractor's QS to see them either gonna accept me as trainee or not~ during my sem 3, which is after the coming Chinese New Year, im gonna work as trainee~ tis sem's holiday gonna burn just like tat~ not even got time to go travel a bit further

tired nitez

im just back from gathering with all my previous NS frens~
eling gonna go india to futher her studies as dentist~
so we all gonna made a farewell dinner for her..but just normal out to tea only la..next week at 31st august mayb we are gonna make another bbq party again at sg long~
all the best for her la, jiayou jiayou o~ pity Zellent always let us lan ci him~ he now at philipines den we half way call him ask him something~ haha den he so jealous~
nvm la, next time when he back here again den we gathering again lor.. still got lots of time mar we all still young~ but then really such a long period nvr saw him adi~
jia kei also came out just now, haha~ long time no see her also.. feel so miss them~ missing my life when having NS during last 2 years~ its free, free from fan nao, free from studies and problems~
picture i will upload later la bcuz it still with eling's camera~

now again another problem adi~ im going to have my practical training in another 2 more sems.. i really dunno which company i should choose~ or mayb i should ask my fren ask his dad and see can help or not~ i really got no idea about all those stuffs~ making me more fan nao only lor.. some more final exam just in 14 days more~ i got no time to study anymore, must work hard adi before i went back here again for party~ nitez bah everyone~

im sad

this few days dunno wat had happen to my phone..
i cant receive any sms or call even my phone is under the swtiched on's condition~
i need to off in den re-on it then only i can able to get calls and sms~
its making me frustrated!! gonna spoil? dun play me like tat la~
its new!! only one and half year how come will be like tat?
need how much to fix it up den? if only a lil bit under rm100~
den ok lor i go fix lor~!! its the 1st time i become sad when my phone got problem~
im not gonna change it again so soon la!! dam it !! fuck sony ericsson!!

well.. another things.. same is old problem again~
as wat i heard from others~ u have been too protected by me~
im working behind u helping u doing all those unnecessary things~
but then u will never realise how much im giving out~
every problem also i solve diam diam behind u~ i just dun wanna u face too much problems during this exams period but seem tat im doing some wrong things~
everyone is keep asking me~ why my blog always bad stuffs happen!
me myself also hope tat there is something happy and positive can let me post up here but too bad i dun have any~ so, pls dun ask me why my blog is dark~
but well, im really happy and appreciate that u had made me a pack of porridge~
i really unbelievable u made it out for me~ im thinking of it how come i dun have porridge~ den in another hours i get it adi~ haha

我永远都只是在你后面为你处理危机～
可是慢慢的我自己的朋友都会讨厌我了～
或许是因为我太过于保护你～什么都为你解决～
结果你就什么都不知道～因为我什么都没告诉你～
可是当我告诉你之后你又会怎样呢？
我怕你会脸黑黑～所以我宁愿我自己扛～
可是～这真的是伟大吗？这真的是牺牲吗？
我不知道！我不知道我自己在做对的东西
还是我自己其实是一厢情愿在好心做坏事～
过于保护也不是一件好事情～

我的电话这几天不知道做么出了很大的问题～
每次我的电话在处于开机状态我竟然收不到信息～
尽然人家达不到电话给我！是因为我没有还电话单么？
我觉得应该不是吧～就算我不给钱～
都没有可能收不到电话的啊！！死人头电话～
不要在我最烦恼的时候出现问题好不好～
我已经真的很够力烦恼了～考试啦，这个啦那个啦～
那些朋友们，我收不到你们的信息或者电话的～
请联络我的另一个号码～谢谢～还有不好意思～
因为发生了这样的事情我也不想的～
都不知道几时才可以做好我的电话!

exam coming

argh!! exam is just around the corner~ two more weeks later i will have to start my exams adi.. but till now i not even start to study yet~ so how? i still have to resit my maths but i din even touch a littlle bit figure from start of tis sem till now.. tis sem some more got another subject which is structural studies.. wat the heck is tat also i never get to know although i study it for 14 weeks~
ok fine, everyday plan to study~ but then end up with sleeping or moody~ dunno wat im keep thinking of.. if ppl dun wan den just dun think lor, no need think so much mar.. the one who fan nao is just me~ lolz, say is say like tat so easy, but when ask me to do it out? i think, its quite a hard job for me lar~ i really did hope tat in one day i will can really make choice!! i hate to being asking to do this and do that~ pls~ no one do so for me afterward~ or else i will really hate it !! you all de things u all ownself settle la why everytime must involve me into it? i dun like lor~
tis few days feel so tired and sleepy and den keep sleeping.. end up fucked up by someone~ lol.. sleeping only mar.. no one dun need to sleep.. like tat also i kena i really swt! but nvm la.. past is past~ no point to say it out again~ tis few days quite often talking with jun tze and ki lik and kokwah them~ feel so good at least i had told them some of my problems.. and they really got comfort me down and giving me some solution~ thx my frens~ 2moro is saturday! after class i think i will go back home.. last day adi i go back~ after tat i will stay here piah for my final exam until i fiinish exam lor.. addoil everyone~ nitez too~

相爱很难

最好 有生一日都爱下去
但谁人 能将恋爱当做终生兴趣
生活 其实旨在找到个伴侣
面对现实 热恋很快变长流细水
可惜我 不智或侥倖
对火花天生敏感
不过 两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人
也许相爱很难
就难在其实双方各有各寄望
怎么办
要单恋都难
受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难
但如未成佛升仙也会怕
爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难
未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫 又要有空间
得到定局 却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心 有人看不过眼
可惜我 不智或侥倖
对火花天生敏感
不过 两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人
也许相爱很难
就难在其实双方各有各寄望
怎么办
要单恋都难
受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难
但如未成佛升仙也会怕
爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难
未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫 又要有空间
得到定局 却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心 有人看不过眼
无论热恋中失恋中
都永远记住第一戒
别要张开双眼