should i feel happy for it??

finally, the end of the year is coming.. another new year is waiting me behind there..
im grewing older and older.. i shlould can think maturely, rite?? but i feel tat im still very 感情用事 lor.. how come i turn until like tis?? haiz, everyone in my family also said me change a lot.. laz time im not like tis at all!! but.. i really changed?? u cant feel it by myself lor.. haiz,, why why why?? finally 2moro is 24 of Dec.. it means x'mas eve jor.. should i feel happy for it?? should i go countdown wit my fren?? juz now quarrel qit my parent bcoz of tis matter jor.. i really feel very sad about wat i told them juz now.. very regret, they are my parent.. i should listen on them but not to scold them..now regret also no use la, HURTS means HURTS.. cannot change adi. haiz~
weishioun wat u doing recently?? why u like tis, why u wan jiu wan, cannot be discuss properly??! study like shit also nvm, spend money like use water like tat.. since when i turn to materialistic?
2moro is another important day for me.. mayb i can meet back most of my old fren.. but if i going, my parent will not happy.. so how?? some one , pls decide for me !! T.T im enuff fan nao jor.. i dun wan think more and more things!! i wan to be cool down.. really hope tat i now can have a long vacation, like 2months or 3months.. at least i can cool my mind.. can think more clearly..
hate hate hate life like tis!! i hate to be the eldest!! i have to think lot of things before i can do something!! but tis is my fate, i should face it but not escape from it.. im a boy!! gonna turn to be a man soon!! i should learn how to settle down the problem by myself.. but i hate to decide..
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!