bad luck Thursday

today go out at 8.30am.. tot can reach kin's house a bit early de.. wanna finish up my chem lab report.. mana tau got jam, reach there also not enuff time adi.. juz got half an hour more.. i juz can finish up the full report.. the partial juz let it there.. i reach utar only i noe tat i 2day wearing pink.. damn worried Mr Ong will call me to answer question leh.. u also noe la, my maths damnfucking suckx ler!! how to answer?? so scare..but luckily at laz he also no mood.. some one had done something make him angry.. he no more joking and kidding wit us in class adi.. and den later he give us back our math test1 paper!! u guess wat marks i get??!!! WTF!!
sure u all cannot guess de la.. unbelievabl;e marks.. its only 3/40 !!!!! after tat finish class adi so damn moody..and den go kin's house to do our programming assignment.. luckily can finish it up on time., or else have to stay overnite at there again lor!! T.T sad sad sad.. moody days..

my papa kena transfer to Kedah by company adi.. tis sunday he gonna move to there soon..i vry sad..
i really feel very very sad, wanna cry T.T me live until 18 adi my papa havent been so far to me yet, except during my NS period.. me 1st day reach kelantan tat time i whole nite cant sleep.. tears keep on dropping out from my eyes..luckily i still got some old frens there.. if not i really will very very sad,and hard to suit myself to the whole new environmennt tat without parent protection~~but luckily i slowly slowly can sesuaikan diri at there, got new frenz, gonna to be happier.. but i really cannot forget tat feel, when my bus start the journey to gua musang kelantan.. ppl said boy cannot simply drop tears, but i'm not agreed wit tis.. depends on wat problem you face.. my weak point is family and my maths.. i hate maths, but i love my family..
papa went so far adi, he will pass all his job and responsiblity to me.. i have to take care of my bro and sis.. have to do all the things tat he will do after he go kedah..i dun wan to do!! not bcoz im lazy..
is bcoz i really dun hope tat he will go until so far, working for unknown salary.. dunno when only can get back his payment~~ i blame myself.. why i so stuipid? why i so lazy? now like him, no cert no degree, very hard to get another new job.. , he got 25 years experience.. but so wat?? now de ppl all juz looking at cert de..
stupid fuck all them.. cert so important meh?? one person good in study not means tat he also good in working!! why they need to see the cert?? not cert not means in stupid!! i wan to be hardworking.. but havent go something tat can bang me kao kao wan.. i need something bang me kao kao den only i can awake from my dream..who can help me?? GOD can help?? if can, come bang me only la.. i dun care wat the consequences..

im very sad.. nowadays very hard to get sleep.. wanna go buy sleeping pills adi.. it may help me to have i better sleep..haiz, i also dunno how to express out my feeling for now.. mayb some noe wat the feeling but i believe tat most of you cannot feel wat i have now..i wanna cry.. but dunno why cannot cry.. all things put inside my heart very suffer de leh.. quite a long time din cry adi, now aslo forget how to cry!! im pressure now, im upset now, im moody now.. im very fan nao.. i hate my life.. why my life got so many type of halangan?? why ppl's life smooth smooth without any big problem?? izzit tis wat the god give me and wanna test my kesabaran?? i can tell u the truth tat.. im gonna broke down soon.. i cannot tahan anymore adi.. see my face good good only like happy go lucky!! no fan nao.. always smile smile joke joke.. but actually wat im thinking nobodys will noe it..i quit for smoking for quite a period adi.. but now dunno why i start it again.. i dun like to smoke actually.. juz.. dunno how to explain!!! i dun wan ppl got bad impression on me!! im good boy!!
but everytime when i tell ppl tat im good boy, ppl always not believe one.. dunno is they juz kidding or really like tat ? my face really so bad meh??my face really giving u all bad impression meh?? kenal me de ppl.. all also noe im a good boy ^^ luckily still got some fren tat can teman me when i need some one to talk wit..
haiz, so late adi havent sleep!! wat im doing here?? talking craps?? or juz to wasting time?? or...???
i wan sleep !!! i wan to sleep!!! very suffer.. me tis whole week adi not enuff sleep adi.. haiz!!izzit that my fate is adi ZHU DING tat i cannot study?? and have to work very very hard to get money?? i wan my dream car, bmw es, merc clk350 amg, toyota alphard.. underground racing car!! big house.. happy family without worrying for $$$ problem.. but seems like my dream is too far from me.. i will never reach.. like maths, wat mr ong teach me.. limits...i mayb can approching..very very near to it.. but i will never get it.. or i langsung tak blh get, not even to have a touch.. haiz, too many fei hua adi la.. dun wste my mind power.. abd better try to go sleep.. or else 2moro i will really become a bear!! panda bear!!